


Overwatch and Associates

by JamLabs



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Chatlogs, Everyone is pretty much a mess, F/F, F/M, How Do I Tag, M/M, Will tag relationships if they appear, chatfic, texting and messaging
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-22 06:44:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamLabs/pseuds/JamLabs
Summary: After the reactivation of Overwatch, a chatroom is opened to talk to potential members. It goes just about as well as you would expect.





	1. the first rule of blackwatch

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Overwatch Emergency Communication Channel (I Swear, It's Emergency Only)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7324573) by [ArcaneAdagio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcaneAdagio/pseuds/ArcaneAdagio). 



******[Winston created Overwatch Communication Channel]**

**[Winston added Lena Oxton, Reinhardt Wilhelm, Torbjorn Lindholm, Angela Ziegler]**

**[Lena Oxton has joined Overwatch Communication Channel]**

**[Angela Ziegler has joined Overwatch Communication Channel]**

**[Reinhardt Wilhelm has joined Overwatch Communication Channel]**

 

Winston: Hello everyone!

Winston: I have created a chatroom for future activities. Use it as you see fit.

Lena Oxton: sweet!! how do I change my name??

Angela Ziegler: Winston, this was a terrible idea.

Angela Ziegler: And Lena, top left.

 

**[Lena Oxton changed name to Tracer]**

**[Angela Ziegler changed name to Mercy]**

**[Reinhardt Wilhelm changed name to Reinhardt]**

 

Tracer: oi loves

Tracer: can I add some people who wanted to join up??

Reinhardt: Of course! The more the merrier!

Tracer: ahhh yes!!

**[Tracer added Jesse McCree]**

**[Tracer added Mei-Ling Zhou]**

**[Tracer added Genji Shimada]**

**[Genji Shimada has joined Overwatch Communication Channel]**

**[Genji Shimada has changed name to Genji]**

 

Tracer: Genji!!

Genji: Lena!

Genji: It is good to hear from you again!

Tracer: same!! it's been such a long time!!

Tracer: you are rejoining right??

Tracer: and mccree!! you're coming back too right??

Genji: I don't think he's on right now.

Genji: But yes, I am planning on coming back.

Mercy: You can check in the corner, Genji.

Mercy: Or just @ him.

Tracer: @Jesse McCree

Tracer: @Jesse McCree

Genji: @Jesse McCree

Reinhardt: @Jesse McCree

Mercy: ......

 

**[Jesse McCree has joined Overwatch Communication Channel]**

**[Jesse McCree has changed name to McCree]**

 

McCree: The hell do you want

Tracer: Jesse!!!

Tracer: it's so good to see you again!!

Genji: I agree with Lena.

McCree: Yeah it has been a while

Reinhardt: Are you going to join up? :O

McCree: Im guessin y’all are

Tracer: Yes!!

Genji: I will bring my master with me.

Genji: He is the one who brought peace to me after

Genji: y’know

Genji: Angela weaponized me. :)

Mercy: Can we please not bring that back?

McCree: ...

Mercy:          

Mercy: Fine.

Genji: It's ok I've forgiven you.

Genji: Speaking of forgiveness…

Reinhardt: Genji what did you do

Genji: I was going to ask if my brother could be included.

Tracer: ???

Tracer: the one who

Tracer: murdered you???

McCree: Mr. Fratricide Shimada

McCree: You want _him_ to join Overwatch

Genji: He regrets his actions very much.

McCree: Sure

Tracer: if you want to I guess…

Tracer: but it doesn't mean Im going to like it >:(

Winston: Not to be rude, but we do need more members.

Winston: Despite being an assassin and as Genji wrote a long time ago, “a fratricidal weenie”, he would be a welcome sight in Overwatch.

Reinhardt: I REMEMBER THAT!!

Reinhardt: IT WAS HILARIOUS!

Genji: I am going to add them to the chat. Please be respectful to my master.

McCree: Sure thing partner

 

**[Genji added Tekhartha Zenyatta]**

**[Genji added Hanzo Shimada]**

**[Tekhartha Zenyatta has joined Overwatch Communication Channel]**

**[Hanzo Shimada has joined Overwatch Communication Channel]**

 

Tracer: :OO

Tracer: Genji!!

Tracer: your master is part of the shambali!!

Tekhartha Zenyatta: Yes, I am. It is nice to meet you all. Genji, how do I change my name?

Genji: Top left, master.

Tekhartha Zenyatta: Thank you, my pupil.

 

**[Tekhartha Zenyatta changed name to Zenyatta]**

 

Reinhardt: Welcome to Overwatch my friend!

Zenyatta: World peace is a common goal I am glad to be working towards. I am sure my brothers and sisters would wish the same.

Tracer: Mondatta was an inspiration to me!!

Tracer: it's my fault he died :(

McCree: It's not your fault pumpkin

McCree: Remember who that sniper is

Reinhardt: ...

Mercy: Death is just a set back!

Mercy: We only come out stronger from losses.

Mercy: Besides, let's keep the past in the past.

Winston: Mercy is right.

Genji: Well my past shaped me into a cyborg so…

Hanzo Shimada: I am sorry, brother.

McCree: He speaks at last

Tracer: hi!! Welcome to Overwatch!!

Tracer: Genji’s told us all about you!!

Hanzo Shimada: It is a pleasure to be here.

Hanzo Shimada: McCree… You are that outlaw in the United States, yes?

McCree: Yup

Hanzo Shimada: Why are you corresponding with my brother?

McCree: We used to work together

McCree: Im just on the run right now

Hanzo Shimada: And for good reason.

Tracer: McCree!

Tracer: dont start this!

Zenyatta: Oh dear. I cannot see this ending well.

Genji: Yes.

Genji: McCree, don't mind my brother.

McCree: :) 

Tracer: oh nooooo

Hanzo Shimada: He smiled. That means…. All is forgiven, yes?

Reinhardt: No

Genji: Nope

Mercy: Nein.

Winston: No.

McCree: _:)_

Genji: Hanzo, apologize.

Hanzo Shimada: I formally apologize to… McCree…?

McCree: Accepted

McCree: Just don't be such a hypocrite in the future

Winston: Crisis averted.

Hanzo Shimada: ???

Genji: Well...

Genji: Back in the day when people said stuff like that McCree’s Commander wouldn't stand for it.

Genji: You’d first get beaten up by McCree and when Commander Reyes found out he would destroy you.

Genji: It’s more of a fear reaction now.

McCree: Yeah

McCree: The boss was like a sassy eagle

McCree: He could always tell when one of the Overwatch pendejos would be pickin’ on us

Genji: No offense to any of you who were in Overwatch, by the way.

Reinhardt: None taken!

Mercy: Some taken :)

Genji: That’s okay I didn’t care what you thought :)

Mercy: :’( 

Genji: :’O 

Genji: I apologize Dr. Ziegler.

Genji: I appreciate what you did for me and will cut down on the teasing.

Mercy: No, it’s fine, Genji.

Mercy: I do not mind a bit of ribbing every now and then!

Genji: ^u^

Mercy: ^U^

Hanzo Shimada: Never make that face again brother.

Zenyatta: I do not mind. It looks rather adorable on your faceplate, my student.

Genji: H A 

Tracer: R O A S T E D

Tracer: and awww

Tracer: his emoticons light up on his face!!

Tracer: how come you never did that back then??

Genji: Well for one I didn’t know.

Genji: It’s like _someone_ didn’t tell me about what they installed into me

McCree: Was it Angie

Genji: It was Angie

Mercy: In my defense, I didn’t authorize some of those.

Genji: I don’t care.

Genji: Do you know how much time and money these have saved??

Tracer: what

Hanzo Shimada: What.

McCree: ^^^

Mercy: ????

Genji: YOU BUILT IN WIFI AND TEXTING INTO MY HELMET THING.

Genji: I AM A HOTSPOT

Genji: F O R F R E E

Genji: I DON’T HAVE TO PAY FOR DATA ANYMORE

Tracer: lucky!!

Tracer: I can't keep my phone on me that much :(

Tracer: when I blink the clock gets all messed up

McCree: Same problem

McCree: Not with the blinkin’ but

McCree: Nevermind

Zenyatta: Is this all of Overwatch’s members? I was under the impression you were a much larger organization.

Winston: No. This is mostly the personal chat for those who have been here before or are close to those who were invited by those here.

Winston: This is still _technically_ illegal so we’ve had to keep recruitment quiet.

Reinhardt: My good companion Brigette has gone back home so I am out an engineer :(

Mercy: Don’t worry, I’m sure Torb will be willing to patch up your armor for you!

Reinhardt: True!

Hanzo Shimada: ...Armor?

Reinhardt: YES! MY SWEET SWEET ARMOR

Reinhardt: SHE IS LOVE SHE I S LIFE JUST LIKE MY HAMMER

Reinhardt: LOOK AT THEM

Reinhardt: MY PRIDE AND JOYS

Tracer: I would make fun of him

Tracer: but its the same for me

Genji: True.

McCree: You mean T R U T H

Reinhardt: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Hanzo Shimada: What is that?

Reinhardt: It is known as a shruggie!

McCree: Ana would have loved that

Tracer: it’s true :(

Reinhardt: :’(

Genji: Out of all of us she deserved to live the most.

McCree: Seconded

McCree: Id sacrifice myself in a heartbeat if it mean havin’ her and the boss back

Tracer: nooo don’t say that!

Tracer: we’d miss you McCree!!

Reinhardt: Like Mercy said we can’t change the past

Reinhardt: So we’ve got to move forward with what we have!

Zenyatta: It is wise to continue, but do not forget the past.

Genji: Well said master.

Mercy: Zenyatta, I must warn you. We are…

Tracer: crazy?

Tracer: weird??

Tracer: freaks???

Mercy: Well I was going to say “very different” but those work too.

McCree: Sorry y’all but Ive gotta go

Genji: Why?

McCree: Well some guys are attackin’ the train Im riding right now

McCree: Probably goin’ to have to do some murder

McCree:  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Reinhardt: A P P R O V E D

Hanzo Shimada: …

Genji: Remember the code, McCree.

McCree: When do I not?

McCree: They havent even noticed me so Im only goin’ in to save the civilians

Tracer: stay safe McCree!!

Mercy: Yes, if things go wrong I will not be there to res you.

Hanzo Shimada: ...

McCree: Loud and clear ma’am’s

McCree: oop gotta go see y’all

 

**[McCree has left Overwatch Communication Channel]**

 

Tracer: I hope he stays safe :(

Genji: He’s more than capable of taking care of himself.

Genji: Remember what he can do?

Tracer: oh yeah!!

Hanzo Shimada: I will bite. What are these things you are talking about?

Zenyatta: I will admit, I am curious as well.

Mercy: You ever want to die?

Hanzo Shimada: Yes, at one point.

Mercy: Go ahead if I’m there!

Mercy: ;)   

Genji: Mercy please.

Genji: She can bring people back to life.

Mercy: Well I must thank Genji for being an excellent first test subject!

Mercy: Thank you! ^U^

Genji: You are quite welcome Dr. Ziegler.

Genji: ^u^  

Hanzo Shimada: BROTHER

Tracer: wow!!

Tracer: you made him so mad he forgot pronounciation haha!!

Hanzo Shimada: It’s “punctuation”.

Hanzo Shimada: What even was that monstrosity you sent.

Reinhardt: You should see how we butcher Torbtorb’s name!

Mercy: Oh yes, good old Torbjornorn

Tracer: who could forget about troblorern???

Hanzo Shimada:

Genji: You’ve successfully made him drop his bow on the ground.

Genji: He’s fallen to his knees.

Zenyatta: He is now doing breathing exercises.

Tracer: how does he even know how to spell torbjornjorns name right??

Genji: Are you kidding me?

Genji: He was the WORLDS BIGGEST OVERWATCH NERD

Genji: He had posters of all the founders.

Genji: The elders didn’t mind for some reason??

Genji: I’m not salty that they made me throw out my pachimari posters but let him keep his nope not at all

Tracer: aww Genji :(

Tracer: we’ll get you more!!

Genji: It doesn’t matter now.

Winston: That’s because you’ve exchanged them for anime.

Reinhardt: R O A S T E D

Reinhardt: OOOOOHHHHHHHH

Genji: THAT IS BLASPHEMY

Genji: I AM A _LIVING ANIME_

Genji: WHY WOULD I NEED POSTERS OF THAT

Zenyatta: It is true. My student does not have posters of this “Anime”. The internet informs me this is a form of Japanese cartoon?

Tracer: correct!!

Tracer: and Genji is one :)

Genji: L E N A

 

**[Genji has gone idle!]**

 

Zenyatta: Tracer, I would advise you to run. Genji is running the rest of the way to the base.

Tracer: don’t worry zenny!

Tracer: I’m faster than he ever will be ;)

Tracer: wow you're right!!

Tracer: he is running here!!

Tracer: ahhhh I'm so excited!!

Winston: @Genji

Winston: A reminder that we are an _illegal organization and I cannot afford to pay the contractors again_

Winston: _Break the building and you will pay_

Tracer: I told you last time was an accident!!

Winston: _How was blowing up my tire swing an accident_

Tracer: I forgot where I put my pulse bombs ok???

Tracer: its hard to remember that stuff sometimes :(

Zenyatta: I have a few meditation exercises to help with memory, if you are interested.

Tracer: :OOOO

Tracer: ID BE HONORED!!!

Tracer: <3 

Zenyatta: It is no trouble. All friends of my brightest pupil are friends of mine.

Mercy: I’m glad Genji was able to find peace.

Mercy: Now if only he would keep his friends in control I would be golden!

Hanzo Shimada: Who… Are you talking about?

Mercy: Oh, you know.

Reinhardt: McCree used to get in sooo many scrapes!!

Reinhardt: Remember the time he used himself as a shield?

Mercy: Unfortunately, yes.

Reinhardt: Or when he dislocated his arm to defend Genji?

Mercy: Yes, he tried to hide it for a week.

Reinhardt: What about the time he couldn't see?

Reinhardt: Remember that?

Mercy: You’ll have to be more specific.

Tracer: ???

Tracer: what??

Mercy: It comes as an unfortunate side effect occasionally.

Mercy: When he… Over exerts himself.

Hanzo Shimada: What are you talking about?

Reinhardt: ...

Tracer: ...

Mercy: I...

Mercy: I feel that's his story to tell, not ours.

Winston: I see Zenyatta and Mr. Shimada have arrived.

Winston: I’ll have Athena direct you to your new rooms.

Zenyatta: Much appreciated my friend.

 

**[Genji is online!]**

 

Genji: Lena where are you.

Tracer: nowhere!!

Tracer: at least no where youd ever look!!

Genji: Lena please I just want a hug.

Tracer: okay!!

Winston: Aww.

Mercy: They look so happy!

Mercy: I can’t wait to see the others again.

Mercy: It’ll be just like old times.

Reinhardt: Yes… it will be.

Mercy: Oh, I’m sorry…

Reinhardt: No, it’s fine.

Reinhardt: Just a lot of fond memories I’m looking forward to sharing!

Tracer: whos actually at the base right now??

Genji: I am here.

Zenyatta: Hanzo and I are as well.

Winston: Dr. Ziegler is assisting me in my lab right now!

Winston: So that’s a yes for both of us.

Mercy: You should stop blowing yourself up!

Tracer: youve been blowing yourself up??

Tracer: winston!!

Tracer: dont do that :(

Reinhardt: I am on my way as well!

Reinhardt: The trip to the watchpoint should not take too long.

 

**[McCree has rejoined Overwatch Communication Channel]**

 

McCree: Howdy hey Im back

Tracer: howd it go???

McCree: Im fine

McCree: Cant say the same for the talon on the train

McCree: Im on my way to Houston

McCree: So I think Im gonna go to Dorado

Tracer: that might take a while tho!!

Genji: And we are stationed overseas.

Genji: How are you going to get over here?

McCree: I have the beginin’ of a plan

McCree: But at least in Dorado theres a gang to hide out with

Hanzo Shimada: You… You are going to join a gang?

McCree: Why not

Tracer: but you said you were coming back!!

McCree: I am

McCree: Thats the place where you can land with no problem

Mercy: Oh!

Mercy: I understand what you are getting at!

Genji: Explain, please.

Zenyatta: Yes, that would be much appreciated.

Mercy: Lumerico operates in Dorado.

Mercy: I think McCree is suggesting that we get either me or Mei to go there for ‘business’ and pick him up while we are there.

McCree: Bingo

Hanzo Shimada: Were you actually planning that? Or did Mercy-san create a plan out of nothing?

McCree: Look partner

Hanzo Shimada: I… I am not your partner!

McCree: Thats just how I speak it doesnt mean nothin’

McCree: Anyway

McCree: I was taken under the best commander overwatch had ever had

McCree: And before that I was in a gang for years

McCree: I know strats

Genji: It is true brother.

Genji: McCree is not as good as Commander Reyes was, but he can create plans.

Mercy: Remember the Great Water Rescue?

Genji: How could I forget?

McCree: I know you both wanted to forget

Genji: Don't you dare.

McCree: Yep

McCree: The one who cant swim had to save y'all

Hanzo Shimada: You can’t swim?

Mercy: He learned how.

Mercy: Just like he learned how to irritate the medics on base.

Winston: You’re still not over it?

Mercy: _He hid is injuries and almost bled out_

Mercy: _Multiple times_

Genji: I did the same Dr. Ziegler.

Genji: Occupational Hazard.

Tracer: it happened to me too!!

Tracer: in kings row I got demolished by null sector!!

Reinhardt: I remember that mission!

Reinhardt: Lena, your shoes are untied.

Tracer: o shoot!

Tracer: wait

Tracer: YOU DID IT AGAIN AND YOU ARENT EVEN HERE!!

Reinhardt: Ahahahaha!

Genji: Lena.

Tracer: I know :(

Zenyatta: It is fine. When our friends tell us something we are inclined to believe them. Genji, your hair is sticking up.

Genji: I will correct that mas

Genji: M A S T E R

Tracer: :OO

Hanzo Shimada: This is ridiculous.

McCree: Thats Overwatch for you

McCree: Wait a hot second

McCree: @Winston

Winston: Yes?

McCree: Im an admin??

Tracer: NO FAIR!!!

Winston: As you are one of the only returning blackops specialists I felt it would be best.

McCree: >:)

 

**[McCree changed chat name to Tracers shoelaces]**

 

Tracer: change it back!!

McCree: Nah

Tracer: Winston!!!

Winston: Sorry Lena.

Winston: It stays for now.

Genji: Pfffft

Tracer: whyyyy

Tracer: mccree what if the new people see!!

Tracer: they’ll make fun of me :(

Genji: They’d do that anyway.

Genji: You are a very excitable person and they are bound to talk.

Mercy: Yes, that is true.

Reinhardt: I cannot wait to get there!

Reinhardt: The journey is a lot longer than I had anticipated but I shall arrive as soon as I can!

McCree: Same here

McCree: Im gonna try and hitch another ride to Dorado

McCree: Probably will get there by Christmas

Tracer: CHRISTMAS!!!

Tracer: OOOH IM SO EXCITED!!!!

Tracer: IM GOING TO TAKE EMILY TO VISIT WINSTON WITH ME!!

Genji: Who is Emily?

Tracer: MY LOVELY BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND WHO I LOVE VERY MUCH

Mercy: Congrats Lena!

Genji: Yes! I will be happy to meet her!

Tracer: <3

Tracer: I can’t wait for you to meet her!!!

Tracer: She is the absolute best!!! <3333

Winston: Would you like me to try and organize the secret friend again?

Mercy: YES

Genji: O.o

Mercy: I mean

Mercy: That would be wonderful!

McCree: Yall better keep me outta it

McCree: Not like I can buy or get anythin’

Genji: We will find a way.

Tracer: Yeah!!

Tracer: We can get anything anywhere!!

McCree: Thanks guys

Winston: So that’s a yes…?

Mercy: There are not many of us at the moment.

Mercy: Maybe we should wait a bit?

Zenyatta: I believe I know a couple people who would be interested in working with Overwatch.

Tracer: !!!!!

Tracer: WHO?!?!

Zenyatta: I know of a streamer named Hana Song. Do you know of her?

Reinhardt: Yes!

Reinhardt: She is very good at Starcraft.

Zenyatta: I have sent her a possible query to get out of her current job and work independently.

Genji: Master?

Genji: How do you have Miss Song’s information??

Tracer: :O

Tracer: that’s a good question!!

Tracer: how do you??

Zenyatta: It is simple. I help moderate her streams in my free time.

Genji: ?!?!?

Genji: Why have you never told me this?

Hanzo Shimada: Perhaps he did not see it as important.

Zenyatta: I did not. I am sorry for not informing you of my connections to Miss Song. I will invite her to the chat to speak.

 

**[Zenyatta added [classified number] to Tracers shoelaces!]**

 

Tracer: noooo!!

Tracer: please change the name!!!

McCree: Its too late darlin’

McCree: Its stuck for now

 

**[[classified number] joined Tracers shoelaces!]**

**[[classified number] changed name to D.Va]**

 

D.Va: what kind of chatroom is this?

D.Va: YingYang??

McCree: Howdy Miss Song

Genji: As the cowboy said.

Genji: You are considering my master’s offer, yes?

D.Va: he was serious?!?!

Zenyatta: No, I am Zenyatta.

Genji: M A S T E R

Reinhardt: V E R Y G O O D

Reinhardt: TOP MEME

McCree: Rein please

Hanzo Shimada: Why am I even here.

D.Va: so let me get this straight.

D.Va: this is NOT a roleplay group?

D.Va: this

D.Va: this is actually Overwatch?

McCree: Well

Mercy: Yes.

D.Va: ?????

D.Va: what the actual???

Genji: We are not actually Overwatch.

Genji: Just

Genji: The surviving memebers coming together for chats and to save the world.

Hanzo Shimada: You spelled “members” wrong.

Genji: No I didn’t.

Hanzo Shimada: Yes you did.

Mercy: *sigh*

Mercy: No he didn’t.

Hanzo Shimada: ??

Reinhardt: It was a term Ana made up for us a long time ago.

McCree: Ana made it up

McCree: Oops sorry Rein

Reinhardt: No problem my friend :)

Mercy: As he said, an old memeber of ours made it up.

Mercy: She was the worst of us all.

Genji: Excuse you.

McCree: Excuse you

Mercy: My apologies.

Mercy: Worst memer, I meant.

Reinhardt: That is one truth of many.

Winston: Ms. Amari’s memes were things of legends.

Genji: Remember the worlds greatest rickroll?

D.Va: …

D.Va: what is a rickroll?

Reinhardt: DO NOT TELL HER

McCree: Sure thing old man

McCree: Just you wait darlin’

D.Va: I feel like I should be scared.

Mercy: Don’t worry.

Zenyatta: Yes, from what I can tell they are a harmless bunch.

Genji: Master, do not lie to her.

Winston: We are mostly harmless.

Winston: I mean, besides the whole “killing” thing…

Genji: My point exactly.

Genji: I am literally a cyborg ninja weapon I don't think harmless applies anymore.

Hanzo Shimada: Brother, I am sorry.

McCree: You dont have to apologize every time

Hanzo Shimada: Don't tell me what to do cowboy.

Genji: Brother…

Genji: I talk like this all the time.

Mercy: You should get used to it.

D.Va: sooo…

D.Va: this is actually Overwatch.

Zenyatta: Correct, Miss Song.

McCree: I ain't there yet

McCree: Hard gettin’ overseas

Tracer: sorry for afk!!

Tracer: I went running to burn off some juice!!

Winston: You didn't leave because you were embarrassed by the chat name?

Tracer: I TOLD YOU TO CHANGE IT!!!!

McCree: >;)

D.Va: tracers shoelaces?

D.Va: the actual heck?

Tracer: :’(

McCree: Alright darlin’ Ill change it

Tracer: I'm still mad!!

 

**[McCree changed chat name to Blackwatchs first rule]**

 

Tracer: ???

Genji: First rule of Blackwatch.

D.Va: ?????

D.Va: didn't Blackwatch lead to Overwatch’s downfall???

D.Va: why are you referencing it??

McCree: …

 

**[McCree has left Blackwatchs first rule]**

 

Tracer: Nooo!!

Tracer: @McCree

Tracer: @McCree come baaaaaack

Genji: Lena.

Tracer: :(

Genji: It's alright.

Genji: I wasn't in Blackwatch as long as he was.

Genji: And I abandoned as soon as I could…

Zenyatta: My student, it was for the best. Everything happens for a reason, and leaving Overwatch led you to me.

Mercy: Yes, it was for the best.

Mercy: I don't think I could have patched you up after the explosion…

D.Va: ummm sorry to interrupt your deep conversation

D.Va: but why are you trying to recruit me??

Winston: Zenyatta messaged you.

Winston: He said you were interested so he added you.

D.Va: but what if i am an anti agent?

Genji: Then we’d take care of that.

D.Va: O.o

Genji: But you aren't.

Genji: I trust my master.

Tracer: and I trust Genji!!

Mercy: I do as well.

Reinhardt: It's been bothering me…

Reinhardt: What is Blackwatch’s first rule?

Genji: First rule of Blackwatch: we don't talk about Blackwatch.

Genji: B)

Mercy: did he

Mercy: DID HE

Genji: Yes.

Genji: The sass master of legends has bequeathed us with an OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED MEME

Tracer: :0000

Tracer: I wish Jack had done that!!!

Tracer: Ana tried so hard but he wouldn't let her!!

Winston: …

Winston: I just checked.

Winston: The first rule in the Blackwatch handbook is indeed as Genji said.

Mercy: The whole thing?

Winston: The whole thing.

Genji: B)

D.Va: what

Tracer: it's a reference love!!

D.Va: to what?

Genji: …

Genji: ...Where's Reinhardt?

Mercy: Yes, he usually explains things like this…

Mercy: @Reinhardt

Reinhardt: I AM BACK MY FRIENDS!!

Reinhardt: MY PHONE CUT OUT!!

Reinhardt:

Genji: You see our previous conversation?

Reinhardt: Yes!!

Reinhardt: Young Miss, it is a reference to “fight club”!

D.Va: ...fight club?

Mercy: First rule of fight club is we don't talk about fight club.

Hanzo Shimada: So the cowboy went out of his way to create a chat name only two people would get.

Genji: Sounds like McCree.

D.Va: I like this.

D.Va: Sign me up!

Winston: Thank you for this chance Miss Song!

D.Va: no problem!

Winston: Remember, this is not legal.

Winston: We are technically not allowed to operate.

Genji: Not going to stop us.

Zenyatta: Peace transcends all restrictions.

Mercy: Speaking of peace…

Mercy: SECRET FRIEND

Winston: Mercy _please_

Mercy: But we have more people!

Mercy: It can work!

D.Va: hey, I know someone who might be interested!

D.Va: I do not know him that well but I am sure he would be happy to help!

Tracer: send Winston his number and we’ll add them!!

Winston: Thank you Miss Song.

 

**[Winston added [classified number] to Blackwatchs first rule]**

**[classified number] joined Blackwatchs first rule]**

**[[classified number] changed name to Lucio]**

 

D.Va: frog boy!!

Lucio: bunny girl!

Lucio: what did you add me into?

Lucio: and who's Winston?

Mercy: Greetings!

Genji: Jfjsjahhrjfin

Hanzo Shimada: Brother... what was that?

Genji: ITS LUCIO

Reinhardt: We know!

Genji: BUT

Genji: ITS L U C I O

Lucio: nice to meet you uh

Lucio: Genji?

Lucio: like the ninja Genji?

Genji: MASTER HE KNOWS ME

Genji: AAAAAAAAA

Zenyatta: Calm, my student. Peace. Tranquility. Stars. Rivers.

Genji: Thank you master.

Mercy: I will have to remember that combination for later Herr Zenyatta.

D.Va: ye so this is apparently what Overwatch is

D.Va: strange people doing strange things.

Reinhardt: That is true!

Reinhardt: We meme too!

Lucio: why am I here?

Winston: We are expanding our recruitment with connections with other members.

Winston: Miss Song said you might be interested.

Lucio: you guys are illegal right?

Winston: …

Mercy: Unfortunately, yes.

Lucio: count me in

Mercy: what

Lucio: saving the world?

Lucio: helpin out people?

Lucio: illegal activity?

Lucio: that's what I do best yo

Genji: …

Mercy: …

Lucio: what?

D.Va: I do not think they expected that!

Genji: ...I want him to meet McCree.

Mercy: NO.

Genji: But Angie!

Mercy: I don’t want him learning _worse_ habits!

Lucio: hey lady

Lucio: I do what I want

Mercy: But as a healer, I am responsible for the good of the team.

Lucio: I’m a healer too!

Lucio: my beats are so smooth

Lucio: they heal your wounds

Mercy: …

Mercy: How?

Lucio: dunno

Lucio: the sonic stuff I stole from Vishkar

Lucio: with my music it works

D.Va: we met on tour!

D.Va: he was in Korea for a morale boost.

Reinhardt: Ah!

Reinhardt: Winston, Toeb just messaged me!

Reinhardt: He wants me to come visit his family in Sweden for Christmas!

Winston: Talk to him about coming back when you go, alright?

Mercy: Christmas is in a week!

Tracer: yeah I need to get Emily a present…

Tracer: you think she'll like a scarf??

Genji: London does get a bit nippy from what I recall.

Zenyatta: It does not matter what you get her. If she loves you as much as you do her, it will not matter. Your company will be more than enough.

Tracer: zenny is so smart!!!

Genji: Yes he is.

Zenyatta: You flatter me, my student.

D.Va: so how are you going to get us over to where you are?

Lucio: yeah I'm on tour rn

Lucio: don't think I can just cancel right away

Winston: Don't worry about it.

Winston: Miss Song, Tracer would be picking you up. And Lucio, take all the time you need.

Mercy: It's getting late.

Mercy: I want everyone off their phones and to sleep immediately!

Mercy: Doctors orders.

 

**[Winston is now idle!]**

**[Genji is now idle!]**

**[Tracer is now idle!]**

**[Zenyatta is now idle!]**

**[Hanzo Shimada is now idle!]**

**[Mercy is now idle!]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this! Its a labor of love honestly haha Here are a few notes:  
> -More is on the way pretty soon  
> -I have a backlog of a couple chapters  
> -If you are looking for McHanzo you will not find it here  
> Thanks again ^^


	2. Doomfist is op, please nerf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some minor shenanigans, and then some Major Shenanigans

**[Genji joined Blackwatchs first rule]**

Genji: @D.VA 

Genji: Oh, it doesn’t work in all caps. 

Genji: @D.Va 

**[D.Va joined Blackwatchs first rule]**

D.Va: whatup? 

Genji: Okay. 

Genji: I know it was you, just fess up to it. 

D.Va: ???? 

D.Va: dude I do not know what you are talking about. 

Genji: HM, 

Genji: HIDING THE TRUTH

Genji: You should know that I am a master of interrogation. 

D.Va: fire away. 

Genji: Where were you last night between the hours of 2400 and 0300? 

D.Va: uh…

D.Va: sleeping? 

Genji: Suspicious. 

D.Va: dude I just got here last night

Genji: Oh. 

Genji: My apologies. 

D.Va: what are you even asking about???? 

Genji: Someone stole my apple crisps. 

D.Va:  _ and your first reaction is to pick on the newbie?? _

Genji: Look

Genji: You said you would take them! 

D.Va: no I did not! 

Genji: “D.Va: when I get there I am going to take all the snacks and hoard them for game night”

Genji: “Genji: Touch my snacks and you die.” 

Genji: “D.Va: LOL”

Genji: And that was the last thing you said. 

D.Va: okay I will admit. 

D.Va: I made myself a little suspicious. 

Genji: Mhm. 

D.Va: but you do know that Hanzo likes those crisps too, right? 

Genji: wh

Genji: what

D.Va: yeah.

D.Va: he swore me to secrecy. 

**[Hanzo Shimada joined Blackwatchs first rule]**

D.Va: shit 

Hanzo Shimada: You. 

Hanzo Shimada: Do not ask me again if you require snacks. 

Hanzo Shimada: You will receive none. 

D.Va: ;_; 

Genji: BROTHER

Hanzo Shimada: Ah… 

Hanzo Shimada: I can explain

Genji: I see how it is. 

Genji: You kill me and steal my snacks? 

Genji: Love you too. 

D.Va: OMG 

Hanzo Shimada: I- 

D.Va: F A T A L I T Y 

Genji: I’m just joking. 

Genji: It’s fine. 

Hanzo Shimada: Are you sure? 

Genji: Of course. 

Genji: Apple crisps can be replaced. 

Genji: My brother cannot be. 

Genji: Also, they probably would have sat there for a while. 

Genji: It’s hard to eat and taste things sometimes.

D.Va: D: 

Hanzo Shimada: It is hard to forgive myself when you say things like that. 

Genji: I see no one else is online but you two. 

Genij: …

Genji: Who’d you get for secret friend? 

D.Va: it is a secret!（ >ㅅÓ)

Genji: You have no idea what to get them do you. 

D.Va: I cannot tell you! 

D.Va: I was sworn to secrecy. 

Hanzo Shimada: Evidently you count your vow to them more important than your vow to me. 

D.Va: Mercy can be scary… 

D.Va: and you want to keep the person keeping you alive happy right? 

Hanzo Shimada: Hm. 

Genji: Who did you get brother? 

Hanzo Shimada: I suppose I can figure something out… 

D.Va: spill the beans and you are dead to me. 

Hanzo Shimada: Interesting. 

D.Va: ?? 

Hanzo Shimada: You want to keep this a surprise. 

Hanzo Shimada: Even if you don’t know about the person, you do not ask for help. 

D.Va: well I can figure it out! 

D.Va: for some I would think it is easy! 

D.Va: like me~ 

Genji: Don’t worry, neither of us got you. 

Hanzo Shimada: How did you--! 

Genji: I was sneaking around trying to find who got me. 

Genji: I saw yours. 

Hanzo Shimada: Hmph. 

Hanzo Shimada: What would you recommend then. 

Genji: They like going fast. 

D.Va: oh I know who this is! 

Genji: No you don’t 

D.Va: yes I do 

D.Va: well I’m going to go stream

D.Va: see you l8r s8rs 

**[D.Va is now idle!]**

 

Hanzo Shimada: Sometimes, I wonder about her. 

Genji: It’s a meme. 

Genji: A recent one. 

Hanzo Shimada: Like shooting stars? 

Genji: THA T MEME I S SO OLD 

Hanzo Shimada: It is a good one. 

Hanzo Shimada: It entertains me. 

Genji: Come and see me, we need to talk about those chips.

Hanzo Shimada: Understood. 

 

**[Genji and Hanzo Shimada are now idle!]**

**\----**

**[Mercy joined Blackwatchs first rule]**

Mercy: Okay which one of you paintballed my lab. 

Mercy: It's not funny. 

Mercy: Even if you think it is. 

Genji: I didn't do it. 

Tracer: why would I do it???

Hanzo Shimada: Agreed.

Hanzo Shimada: Whoever did this is a fool.

D.Va: I know what you are all thinking. 

D.Va: but it was not me. 

Mercy: It couldn't have been Reinhardt or McCree... 

Mercy: And Mei hasn't spoken yet, so I assume it isn't her. 

Mercy: Lucio is still on tour. 

Mercy: Torb is at home. 

Mercy: That leaves Zenyatta and Winston. 

Genji: My master would probably not do that. 

Mercy: Probably? 

Genji: He does have a prankish side. 

Genji: But he would rather not incur your wrath. 

Tracer: Winston is usually in his lab!! 

Tracer: slso I have an alibi, I was with Emily all day today!! 

Tracer: did I mention that I love my girlfriend 

Genji: Literally every time you say her name. 

Tracer: well I do!!! 

Tracer: she's perfect!!

Tracer: and I love her!! 

Hanzo Shimada: Why don't you just check the cameras? 

Mercy: They are Covered In Paint. 

Mercy: I would rather not. 

D.Va: omg 

D.Va: can I get a picture? 

Genji: I will get you one. 

Genji: I can clean the lab for you if you like. 

Mercy: No, no. 

Mercy: Whoever did it. 

Mercy: You will pay. 

Mercy: I will come for you and you will clean this room. 

Mercy: And if I ever.

Mercy:  _ever._

Mercy: Hear you ask for healing. 

Mercy: Do you know what I will say? 

D.Va: that you are bound by the Hypocratic oath? 

Mercy: First, its the Hippocratic oath. 

Mercy: And second, I will say no. 

Mercy: You may not have healing. 

Genji: Geez. 

Hanzo Shimada: ... 

Hanzo Shimada: I am glad I did not do this. 

D.Va: me too. 

D.Va: yeah I replaced all of Genjis socks with Hanzos socks. 

D.Va: but I did not paintball the medical lab. 

Tracer: I guess we will never know!! 

Mercy: Lena. 

Tracer: yes?? 

Mercy: It was you, wasn't it. 

Tracer: no it wasn't!! 

Mercy: ...

Tracer: ... 

Mercy: ... 

Tracer: fine!! 

Tracer: I did do it :(( 

Tracer: I was checking if it worked and I shot myself in the arm!! 

Tracer: it got bruised and I didn't want to bother you so I tried to use the biotics 

Tracer: and the gun went off again 

Tracer: and I tried to wipe it up but it wasn't working!! 

Tracer: and by then i was really scared so 

Tracer: my brain said hey!!

Tracer: if you make a bigger mess you cant get blamed!! 

Tracer: don't ask why. 

Genji: It strangely makes sense.

Genji: You think fast and make mistakes.

Tracer: I know :((( 

Tracer: I'm really sorry Angie 

Tracer: I'll clean everything up!! 

Mercy: Thank you for confessing. 

Tracer: :D 

Mercy: You still get no healing for a week. 

Tracer: D: 

Genji: I will help you. 

D.Va: I will too! 

D.Va: it could be fun.

D.Va: and you should not suffer alone. 

Tracer: thank you all so much 

D.Va: we gotchu girl!! 

Genji: Anything to help. 

Mercy: Well, hop to it. 

Mercy: I want my lab to  _shine._

\----

**[Winston joined Blackwatchs first rule]**

Winston: @all

Winston: Thank you for responding.

Winston: What is everyone’s status? 

Tracer: en route to extraction point!

Winston: I know where you are. 

Winston: I'm in the ship with you. 

Mercy: I'm in my lab! 

Hanzo Shimada: Training range.

Reinhardt: Stopped at a town for gas! 

Lucio: man 

Lucio: I'm lookin forward to meeting you all

Lucio: though 

Lucio: I'm sad my tour can't extend 

Winston: I have to thank you again Lucio!

Mercy: Giving up on your dream must be very hard for you.

Lucio: well now I can fight Vishkar actively again yeah?

McCree: Thats the spirit

Genji: Where are you McCree?

McCree: Workin my way to Dorado

McCree: Probably be there tomorrow

Hanzo Shimada: How does it take you so long to travel?

McCree: Im a train hopper

McCree: I aint in control of where they go 

Tracer: Jesse why don't you actually buy a ticket??

Tracer: oh wait

Tracer: I forget you’re technically a criminal sometimes!! 

Winston: If you want to be technical, we’re all criminals. 

Hanzo Shimada: Some of us more than others. 

Reinhardt: I'm almost at Torb’s!

Reinhardt: Christmas is going to be so good :’)

McCree: Dont remind me

Genji: McCree pls 

Reinhardt: Though…

Reinhardt: I am quite afraid for my life

Reinhardt: Those children can be demons!

Lucio: uh guys 

Lucio: hate to be the bearer of bad news 

Lucio: but it looks like we've run into a spot of trouble 

Tracer: is that?? 

Winston: Oh no. 

Genji: When I die everything goes to McCree. 

Hanzo Shimada: But I'm your brother…

Genji: Yes and you killed me. 

Reinhardt: It’s who? 

Tracer: Doomfist. 

Reinhardt: I could take him! 

Winston: I know but you're not here right now.

Winston: It's me Genji and Tracer.

Winston: Why did I think this would be easy? 

Mercy: Because you're an optimist who thinks the best of everyone and everything. 

Tracer: it’s true!!

Tracer: ok Genji game plan 

Genji: I’ll flank from above. 

Genji: Mess him up and keep your movements unpredictable. 

Winston: Both of you be careful! 

Winston: We can't rush

Mercy: Winston? 

Genji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Zenyatta: What. Happened. 

Genji: My my my chesssssssst 

Winston: Tracer be careful! 

Mercy: Genji! 

Hanzo Shimada: Genji what happened? 

McCree: Genji dont die on me partner

Winston: 

Winston: 

**[Tracer has disconnected from Blackwatchs first rule]**

Mercy: ...Winston? 

McCree: Whats goin on 

Reinhardt: What's happening? 

Hanzo Shimada: We don't know.

Zenyatta: Genji is very injured. We know that.

Lucio: oh god guys 

Lucio: Genji got a car thrown at him and then got punched in the stomach 

Lucio: Tracer just

Lucio: the thing on her chest got ripped off and now she's flickering in and out 

Lucio: Winston just started punching Doomfist in the face and I don't think he's going to stop 

Mercy: Mein Gott. 

Lucio: I can try and heal Genji 

Zenyatta: Please do. 

Lucio: but what about Tracer? 

Reinhardt: Do you know any engineers? 

Lucio: no

Reinhardt: Okay give me a minute. 

Reinhardt: Brigitte told me she knows someone in that area so she’s trying to contact them. 

McCree: Winston usually stores extras in the transport vehicle

McCree: Hurry

Lucio: I am 

Lucio: Genji's stable 

Lucio: and Winstons not tryin’ to kill this dude anymore 

Genji: my chest hurts 

Hanzo Shimada: You are alive?

Genji: no

Genji: this is genjis ghost 

Hanzo Shimada: Genji…

McCree: Partner please 

Reinhardt: Brigitte talking to someone in her engineer club.

Mercy: There’s an engineer club? 

Torbjorn: Yes. 

Mercy: !!! 

Mercy: Torb where did you come from??

Torborn: I'm always here. 

Mercy: ...

Zenyatta: Is Lena alright? 

Winston: We need to get her back into the timestream. 

Lucio: you've calmed down 

Winston: ...I did get a bit carried away. 

Lucio: no not really

Genji: you showed him 

McCree: Yall going to get him to prison

Mercy: Patients take priority. 

McCree: Well duh

Winston: I don't think he'll be moving much. 

Lucio: yeah he's kinda 

Lucio: knocked out 

Reinhardt: An engineer will bring you the parts!

Torbjorn: An omnic named Quill will bring you what you need. 

Reinhardt: Brigitte wants you to stop taking her glory.

Torbjorn: And I want you to stop filling my daughters head with nonsense! 

Reinhardt: It's not nonsense!!!

Winston: Thank you, both of you. 

Genji: hanzo 

Hanzo Shimada: Yes? 

Genji: this feels like when you killed me 

Hanzo Shimada: … 

McCree: Pshhh

McCree: This sounds more like the time you decided to try and reflect Reins hammer 

Genji: How Dare You 

McCree: Hey you two were the ones who thought it was a good idea 

Genji: we don't talk about that day 

Lucio: hey uh 

Lucio: is Tracer okay 

Winston: She should be. 

Mercy: I appreciate your concern. 

Lucio: hey I've heard the stories

Lucio: don't think gettin lost to time sounds fun 

Lucio: at least Genji's not coughing up blood anymore 

Mercy: That’s good. 

Mercy: His face plate is off? 

Lucio: yeah 

Lucio: I wanted to open the airways 

Genji: How is music doing this? 

Mercy: It actually works? 

Lucio: yeah how dare you doubt me 

Lucio: I can speed everyone out of here too

Lucio: if someone can bring a stereo system I can make it stronger 

Reinhardt: Hey! 

Reinhardt: Genji said he could! 

McCree: A little late there Rein

Reinhardt: Sorry, Brigitte was talking to me about Quill

Reinhardt: And Genji said he could reflect it! 

Reinhardt: It's a magic sword! 

Genji: haha

Genji: let's not talk about that. 

Winston: I have the spare accelerators ready.

Winston: I just need parts to strap it to her. 

Torbjorn: The omnic is bringing the parts. 

Genji: bring pants 

McCree: Genji you don't wear pants 

Genji: bring comfy pants 

Lucio: what the hECK

Winston: What in the world? 

Mercy: What's going on?

Lucio: glass 

Lucio: and heal juice? 

Lucio: where did that come from 

Genji: it feels 

Genji: familiar

Lucio: so uh

Lucio: Genji looks better 

Hanzo Shimada: Good. 

Hanzo Shimada: I am the only one who is allowed to kill him. 

Mercy: !!!

Mercy: Did you just??

Genji: i can't believe this day has come 

Genji: my brother 

Genji: making a killing me joke 

Hanzo Shimada: Never mind. 

Genji: i am so proud,,

Lucio: okay I'm going to get Genji to safely 

Lucio: hang on to me 

Lucio: we may have to do some tricky maneuvers 

Genji: ? 

Mercy: Lucio…

Lucio: look there's rubble 

Lucio: I'm just going to go over it 

Mercy: Be careful. 

Mercy: I don't want Genji hurt. 

Reinhardt: Brigitte says that Quill is almost there! 

Genji: pants 

Reinhardt: They’re bringing pants, yes. 

McCree: Im so worried 

Zenyatta: You and me both, McCree. I do not wish for my student to see harm. 

McCree: I really hope Lenas okay 

Winston: She will be. 

Winston: I got the back up accelerator, she should be back shortly. 

Mercy: Bring her right back here. 

Winston: Of course Dr. Ziegler. 

**[Tracer has rejoined Blackwatchs first rule]**

Tracer: owww :(( 

McCree: LENA!!

Genji: LENA IM SOGLAD YOURE ALIVE 

Tracer: awww thanks guys!! 

Tracer: I’m really glad Winston had those accelerators around 

Tracer: I dont think I could take another trip between times :( 

McCree: Dont worry Winston beat up Doomfist really good 

Winston: Aha, yes. 

Winston: I did lose control a bit there. 

Tracer: Thank you ;;-;; 

Mercy: So you and Genji are back alive? 

Winston: Yes. 

Winston: Reinhardt, tell Brigitte thank you. 

Winston: Quill was a great help. 

Reinhardt: Of course!! 

Torbjorn: Now you just have to put Doomfist in jail. 

Tracer: I claim the gauntlet as spoils!! 

Zenyatta: Send it to Numbani. 

Mercy: ! 

Hanzo Shimada: That is a good idea.

Hanzo Shimada: They have those OR-14 units there, don’t they? 

Mercy: Yes! 

Mercy: Well thought Zenyatta! 

Zenyatta: My thanks.

Tracer: Angela

Mercy: Yes Lena? 

Tracer: am I still on my healing ban? 

Mercy: Wha-- of course not! 

Mercy: I was only joking, I would never purposefully endanger a patient! 

Mercy: Heal bruises, no. 

Mercy: But you got punched through time again! 

Mercy: Of course I'm going to heal you! 

Tracer: thank you

Mercy: Try not to get ripped out of time again okay? 

Mercy: That way I can make my punishments have merit. 

Winston: Lucio, get Genji into the dropship. 

Lucio: I’m already there my dude 

Lucio: wall riding over debris 

Lucio: and a good old speed boost 

Lucio: there in record time as per usual

Reinhardt: Hm...

Genji: He didn't beat your record. 

Reinhardt: :) 

Reinhardt: No one can beat slamming right through the wall after a 5 second charge!! 

Hanzo Shimada: ... 

Hanzo Shimada: I'm not sure you should be taking pride in that. 

Reinhardt: I do what I want. 

Hanzo Shimada: Very well then. 

Mercy: Tracer, are you feeling up to walking? 

Tracer: yeah I can walk!! 

Tracer: it was just the accelerator nothing else was hurt!

Winston: Lena...

Tracer: that badly!! 

Genji: I do feel a lot better tbh. 

Mercy: Fantastic. 

McCree: Im so glad you two are alright 

McCree: Ive been really worried 

Tracer: awww thanks Jesse!! 

D.Va: woah what did I miss? 

Genji: … 

Genji: It’s a long story. 

Hanzo Shimada: A very long story.

D.Va: ? 

Genji: We'll tell you when we get back. 

McCree: Stay safe on the return trip okay 

Winston: Will do. 

Winston: We will let everyone know when we have returned. 

Winston: For now, farewell. 

Genji: Tracer and I will sign off too 

Genji: Just so I don't interfere with the autopilot

Tracer: and so I dont

Tracer: why am I turning off the chat? 

Mercy: So you can sit down and rest! 

Tracer: okay that!! 

Winston: See you when we get back.

**[Genji, Tracer and Winston have disconnected from Blackwatchs first rule]**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness its been 3 months aaaaaaaa  
> Im so sorry ;;-;;   
> I have no excuses besides the usual school work and family tragedies and whatnot   
> I'll try to be better!! I promise!!   
> Thank you to everyone who supported this story so far!   
> Patchnotes 2/20/18   
> >Moira is the science gal Ive needed all along and never known   
> >the cosmetic update finally inCLUDED MY BOY YOUNG REINHARDT ITS BEEN THREE THOUSAND YEARS   
> >DID I MENTION THAT I S O B EVERY TIME I WATCH HONOR AND GLORY?? BC I DO   
> >Lunar new year is fun but they nerfed the insta Lucio cap so >:l


	3. Holidays are a time for family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret friend exchanges, the addition of a few new people and the holiday spirits.

**[Winston changed chat name to Happy Holidays!]**

**[All joined Happy Holidays!]**

 

Tracer: ITS CRISTMAS!! 

Tracer: WOOOOOO

Mercy: Happy Holidays everyone! 

Genji: To you as well! 

D.Va: thanks for picking me up Tracer!

Lucio: same!

Lucio: it's nice to meet the legends in person haha 

Tracer: no problem!! 

Mercy: So, did everyone get their gifts for secret friend? 

Hanzo Shimada: Yes. 

Genji: Hai. 

Reinhardt: Ja!

Lucio: yup

D.Va: mmhm! 

Mercy: How many different forms of yes do we have to go through. 

Winston: Affirmative. 

Zenyatta: Indeed. 

Mercy:  _ Stop. _

Tracer: where's McCree???

Tracer: @McCree

Tracer: @McCree

McCree: what 

Tracer: are you alright love? 

Genji: you haven't talked at all. 

McCree: yes im good 

Genji: …

Genji: Your quirk is off. 

McCree: no itsnot 

McCree: just do tjdcv thing already 

Tracer: okay…

Tracer: I guess I’ll start? 

Genji: For those of you who don't know, you must describe your person. 

Tracer: the person I got is a huge inspiration! 

Hanzo Shimada: That rules out several of us. 

Hanzo Shimada: It cannot be any of the young members. 

Tracer: they are kind and strong!! 

Tracer: their favorite snack is pretzels!!

Reinhardt: Is it me?? 

Tracer: yeah!! 

Tracer: I didn't really know what else to get you so I got you Hasselhoff records! 

Reinhardt: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Reinhardt: THANK YOU

Torbjorn: He yelled so loudly we can hear it from inside. 

Tracer: I'll give it to you when you come back!!

Reinhardt: I guess it's my turn now? 

Genji: Yep!

Reinhardt: I got someone I don't know much about! 

Reinhardt: They are young but very skilled! 

Reinhardt: I think they are extremely talented! 

D.Va: Is it Lucio? 

Reinhardt: Nope! 

Reinhardt: It’s you! 

D.Va: 

D.Va: what??

Reinhardt: I got you! 

D.Va: but talented??

D.Va: skilled??

D.Va: I knew I was great but for a founder to say it??? 

D.Va: thank you!!

Reinhardt: I haven't even said what I got you yet!

Reinhardt: I know you like games so I got you a bunch of codes for games! 

Reinhardt: Portal 2 is very fun in co-op! 

D.Va: ajdfajsdl fjasd

Reinhardt: :D

D.Va: so I go now right?? 

Mercy: Yes! 

D.Va: I got someone who I know nothing about 

D.Va: they seem really cool though! 

D.Va: they are close to Mercy and YinYang

D.Va: wait I mean Zenyatta 

Genji: Is it me? 

D.Va: yep! 

D.Va: I got you a “genuine ninja sword”! 

D.Va: and some snacks 

Genji: Th

Genji: Thank you. 

Genji: Even though you don’t know who I am I appreciate you getting me something. 

D.Va: no problem!

Tracer: now Genji you go!!

Genji: Alright. 

Hanzo Shimada: Is it me. 

Genji: No. 

Genji: They are one of my best friends. 

Genji: We worked together during Overwatches golden days.

Mercy: 

Genji: 

Tracer: McCree are you sure you’re alright?? 

McCree: jaj he’s not 

Tracer: ????

Tracer: who is this??? 

Winston: This is supposed to be a secure channel. 

Winston: Put down McCree’s communicator. 

McCree: ok if you insist monkey man 

Genji: Who are you? 

 

**[Sombra joined Happy Holidays!]**

 

Sombra: it’s me

Sombra: Sombra 

Mercy: Get out of our channel! 

Tracer: yeah!! 

Sombra: Nah

Sombra: You were worried about the cowboy right? 

Genji: I assume you are with him? 

Sombra: Si 

Sombra: Hes so drunk its funny 

McCree: im not duonk 

Tracer: :( 

Tracer: I thought you said youd stopped!!

McCree: christsmas is a teim for familye 

McCree: and thi s weiskey 

McCree: is my faimly 

Sombra: Hes hilarious! 

Sombra: Hes been talking nonsense for the past hour jajaja  

Winston: Seriously, who are you?? 

Tracer: yeah!!

Tracer: you can’t just barge in and talk!!

Tracer: it doesn’t work like that!! 

Sombra: I do what I want 

Sombra: Talon cant control me so what makes you think you can? 

Genji: You’re with Talon? 

Hanzo Shimada: I told you I will not work with you. 

Sombra: Not really 

Sombra: Its more like they provide shelter and transportation so Im using them for that 

Sombra: The company isnt half bad either <3 

Mercy: Get out. 

Mercy: We do not need you reporting to Talon. 

Genji: Please leave. 

Sombra: hmmmm 

Sombra: nah 

D.Va: look even me and Lucio think it is a bad idea to keep them in here. 

D.Va: can you not just ban them? 

Sombra: Good luck with that <3 

 

**[Winston banned Sombra]**

**[Sombra joined Happy Holidays]**

**[Winston banned Sombra]**

**[Sombra joined Happy Holidays]**

 

Sombra: Like I said 

Sombra: Good luck <3

Lucio: dude 

Lucio: please 

Lucio: it’s christmas 

Lucio: or whatever holiday you celebrate 

Lucio: just let McCree describe who he got 

McCree: kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Tracer: ?????

Genji: He passed out on his phone didn’t he. 

Sombra: Yep! 

Sombra: Here give me a sec 

Genji: If you hurt him I will hunt you down and make you regret living. 

Hanzo Shimada: He will. 

Hanzo Shimada: I speak from experience on that. 

Sombra: Hes talking in a mix of Spanish and English and drunk now 

Sombra: I dont think any of you would be able to understand it 

Mercy: Just tell us what he’s saying. 

Sombra: jajajajaja sure miss miracle worker 

Sombra: “‘s the chill one” 

Sombra: “why did I have to get the one I know nothing about” 

Zenyatta: I thought I told you not to put my name in Genji? 

Genji: Whoops. 

Zenyatta: I am sure whatever he got me will be wonderful. 

Sombra: He got you….

Sombra: Not sure if Im translating this right 

Sombra: A yoga mat? 

Sombra: And a… cd? 

Sombra: Of noises of some sort of animal 

Sombra: What is it called in english? 

McCree: its aht land cow thing 

McCree: larg  e 

McCree: has a water thing 

Genji: ...a whale? 

Sombra: YES THATS WHAT ITS CALLED 

McCree: whale is riht 

Zenyatta: Thank you McCree! I will treasure them. I suppose I will share who I got? 

Genji: Yes master, it is your turn. 

Zenyatta: I got Winston. 

Genji: M A S T E R

Zenyatta: Oh, I was supposed to describe them. I apologize. I asked Tracer what he liked, and she said peanut butter. So I got you peanut butter in both varieties, and some peanut brittle. 

Winston: AAAAAA

Winston: Er, sorry about that. 

Winston: Thank you Zenyatta! 

Zenyatta: It is of no consequence. 

Winston: Alright, I suppose it is my turn now. 

Winston: I got someone who is very close to Genji. 

Hanzo Shimada: Is it me. 

Winston: No. 

Genji: You will receive your gift in time, brother. 

Hanzo Shimada: Hmph. 

Winston:  _ Anyway _

Winston: They keep us all in good shape on the battlefield too! 

Mercy: Aww, thank you Winston! 

Winston: I got you more coffee mugs and upgraded your pistol a bit. 

Mercy: …

Mercy: ...will it explode? 

Tracer: not anymore!! 

Tracer: I got blown up so much!!! 

Mercy: :l 

Mercy: Though I hope to never have to use it, thank you. 

Sombra: Oh now you care about ethics 

Mercy: I always have.

Mercy: I am a self-respecting medic who follows the Geneva convention. 

Sombra: I have a friend who would disagree with you on that ;) 

Genji: What are you talking about? 

Sombra: You didnt tell them? 

Sombra: Your medic is not a nice lady 

Mercy: You have no business with that. 

Mercy: I did what I had to do. 

Tracer: ??? 

Sombra: Would you like to tell that to the cowboy? 

Mercy: …

Sombra: Thats what I thought 

Genji: Would someone please explain what is going on? 

D.Va: yeah!! 

Lucio: an explanation would be better than passive-aggressive remarks 

Mercy:  _ Don’t.  _

Mercy: My person is upbeat. 

Mercy: They make music, and help people like I do. 

Lucio: eyyyy it ya boi 

Mercy: I have given you new headphones! 

Hanzo Shimada: It’s “gotten”, actually. 

McCree: noone casres 

McCree: diso mio i hate evreytihnsg 

Lucio: hey cheer up man! 

Lucio: I got someone who seems cool! 

Lucio: I mean they kinda are uptight 

Lucio: but I’m sure that’ll change! 

Hanzo Shimada: Is  _ that  _ me? 

Lucio: haha yep! 

Lucio: I got you some tea and sake like Genji suggested 

Lucio: but I also got you a sketchpad

Lucio: you seem like the type to draw

D.Va: was

D.Va: was that a pun 

Lucio: noooooo 

D.Va: IT WAS A PUN 

D.Va: GET BACK HERE LUCIO YOU CAN’T RUN FROM THE LAW

Lucio: IM OUT SEE YA LATER 

Hanzo Shimada: … 

Hanzo Shimada: I… I am not sure what just happened. 

Genji: I would not worry about it brother. 

Tracer: That means Hanzo got me!! 

Hanzo Shimada: That is correct. 

Hanzo Shimada: Genji told me you liked… going fast. 

Hanzo Shimada: So I got you a Sonic shirt. 

Tracer: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tracer: AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Tracer: THA NK YOU 

Genji: Tracer, you’re blinking everywhere again. 

Tracer: SORRY!! 

Tracer: IM JSUT 

Tracer: SO EXCITED!!!!

Sombra: This is hilarious! 

Sombra: Who knew you all were such  _ dorks  _

Mercy: Quiet you. 

Sombra: Make me

Sombra: You’re not my boss >:P

Mercy: Then who do you work for? 

Sombra: You should know the answer to that doc. 

Mercy: !!! 

Genji: What are you talking about?

Genji: This is the second time you’ve talked about this. 

Genji: We want to know. 

Sombra: If you insist ;) 

Winston: WAIT NO 

 

**[Sombra added Edgedork to Happy Holidays!]**

**[Edgedork joined Happy Holidays!]**

 

Winston:  _ WHY  _

Genji: Sorry. 

Edgedork: Sombra. 

Edgedork: Change my name.

Sombra: N E V E R 

Edgedork: SOMBRA 

Sombra: You cant touch me~ 

Genji: Who are you? 

McCree: whesre asre you goinn puple lady 

Edgedork: Sombra what did you put me in 

Sombra: Welcome to Overwatch’s chatroom ;) 

Sombra: Youre welcome~ ;) 

Edgedork: Can you not 

Genji: SERIOUSLY WHO ARE YOU 

Edgedork: Ziegler’s greatest mistake. 

Sombra: Woah calm down on the edge there 

Sombra: Dont want to get cut with all that edge 

Edgedork: Why did you even bother to add me 

Winston: I’m guessing you work for Talon as well? 

Winston: And to everyone else, I’m not even going to bother trying to ban him.

Winston: This Sombra is just going to add him again. 

Sombra: Got that right ;) 

Edgedork: Sombra, where are you anyway 

Edgedork: You’re supposed to be on base and I can’t find you. 

Sombra: UGHHHHH 

Sombra: I went to Dorado! 

Edgedork: You aren’t supposed to be there. 

Sombra: DIOS MIO 

Sombra: I KNOW ITS WHY IM HERE

Sombra: Besides~ 

Sombra: Youll never guess who I ran into! 

Genji: Can I just give up. 

Genji: I don’t know what’s going on anymore. 

Hanzo Shimada: I am just as confused as you, brother. 

Sombra: It’s the cowboy! 

Edgedork: WHAT 

Sombra: Si, I am just sitting here watching him drown himself in whiskey jaj 

Edgedork: SOMBRA 

Sombra: What? 

Edgedork: WHY 

Sombra: Well I knew you had some ““Tactical Stalking”” to do 

Sombra: So I figured Id check on the cowboy for you 

Genji: …

Genji: Tactical Stalking? 

Genji: I’m a ninja and that doesn’t even make sense. 

Edgedork: Wait. 

Edgedork:  _ Mercy.  _

Mercy: And that is my cue to leave. 

Sombra: Not yet!    
Mercy: WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PHONE 

Mercy: I CAN’T TURN IT OFF 

Sombra: ;) 

Edgedork: Do you know what you did to me 

Edgedork: Why couldn’t you have just let me die all the way 

Edgedork: You just  _ had _ to turn me into 

Edgedork: this 

Sombra: Oh no 

Sombra: Gabi shhhhh 

Edgedork: I WILL NOT “SHHH” 

Edgedork: I AM GOING TO COME AND SHUT  _ YOU  _ UP

 

**[Sombra muted Edgedork for 20 minutes]**

 

Sombra: Sorry about that

Mercy: Why did you have to add him. 

McCree: i knesw somene named gabe onse 

McCree: hwy couldnt i die instesa d 

Tracer: you know why!! 

Tracer: he tried to overthrow commander Morrison!! 

Genji: That is true…

Genji: It is best you lived, you have another 50 years in you left. 

McCree: asdlkj sa;

Sombra: Wow you just set him off 

Sombra: Hes crying and ranting 

Sombra: Maybe I should knock him out

Mercy: Do not. 

Sombra: Youre right 

Sombra: Seeing him sad and drunk is much more funny 

D.Va: I’m back! 

Lucio: she was right

Lucio: you cant run from the law 

D.Va: B) 

Lucio: wait 

Lucio: what the heck is going on 

Mercy: This “Sombra” added…

Mercy: Another Talon agent. 

McCree: ansd noe thir trash tlakin my boss 

Hanzo Shimada: Please do not let him type anymore. 

Hanzo Shimada: I do not think I can take it. 

Sombra: Trust me, having voice recognition on would be worse

Genji: How so? 

Sombra: “and hes the lo mas asombroso why  couldn’t it have been me” 

Tracer: what 

Mercy: Even I do not recognize that language.

Winston: Neither do I. 

Sombra: Its a mix of English and Spanish

Sombra: My enhancements inform me that there is arabic in there too 

Winston: Will I regret asking what he’s saying? 

Sombra: “and hes the most amazing why couldn’t it have been me” 

Sombra: If I translated that right

McCree: chrastmis is hte best 

McCree: i loev crhistmas 

McCree: i ned a droikn 

Genji: Do not let him have anymore. 

Sombra: You have no idea how much like him you sound rn 

Sombra: Besides 

Sombra: Hes not my problem 

Mercy: If he dies of alcohol poisoning we will know who do indict. 

Mercy: No layers of anonymity will hide you for long. 

Mercy: Everyone has medical records. 

Mercy: Especially for someone with “enhancements”. 

Sombra: Awww thats cute 

Hanzo Shimada: Are… are you being patronizing? 

Sombra: Yes 

Hanzo Shimada: Thank you for the clarification. 

Hanzo Shimada: I must double check, I do not want to think you were being sassy when in reality you were flirting or something like that. 

Sombra: Me and Dr. “bring people back to life as weapons without their consent” 

Sombra: Nah 

Mercy: >:( 

Genji: You cannot argue with that. 

Genji: You did it to me. 

Tracer: yeah but you were in OW!! 

Tracer: so she did what she had to!! 

Tracer: besides I thought you were ok with being a cyborg now?? 

Genji: Doesn’t make it less true. 

Sombra: Cyborg huh? 

Genji: Yes. 

Genji: I was unfortunately fatally injured and the good Dr. Ziegler put me back together. 

Genji: And before you say anything, I forgive you. 

Hanzo Shimada: I tried to kill you  _ twice.  _

Hanzo Shimada: I do not deserve your forgiveness. 

Sombra: Wait 

Sombra:  _ You  _ were the ones I saw in Hanamura? 

Genji: What 

Hanzo Shimada: What

Sombra: YOU TWO ARE THE WEEBS WHO CAN CONTROL DRAGONS!

Sombra: Wow I cant believe this 

Genji: I AM NOT A WEEB 

Hanzo Shimada: I do not know what you mean by “weeb”. 

Hanzo Shimada: But yes, I can control a pair of dragons. 

Edgedork: Thank you Sombra.

Edgedork: I… needed to cool down there. 

Sombra: ;) 

Mercy: Will you let me leave now? 

Sombra: No 

McCree: ey pursple lady coem do shots wth me 

Sombra: Im not in the same building as you cowboy

McCree: yesh you asr 

McCree: i csn see oyu 

McCree: im wavinn

McCree: ansd now your hidng yuor pphon 

McCree: come on 

Genji: McCree, stop. 

Tracer: please!! 

Tracer: don’t drink anymore!! 

Edgedork: Sombra.

Sombra: Yeeeeeessssss? 

Edgedork: Knock him out and drag him to a hotel. 

Sombra: (thumbs up) 

Mercy: Don’t! 

Mercy: That could hurt him even more! 

Edgedork: Do it. 

Genji: If it will stop him from drinking, do it. 

Tracer: Genji!!

Tracer: if the criminals are saying to do it it’s obvosiuly a bad idea!! 

Winston: I am inclined to agree with our local healer. 

D.Va: hey stop looking at me!

D.Va: it is not a vote! 

Sombra: Shes right 

Sombra: BAP 

Edgedork: Why do I have to deal with this 

Mercy: You are the one who told her to knock him out.

Edgedork: And you’re the one who thought resurrecting a dead man was a good idea. 

Sombra: Wow hes really light 

Sombra: Hacked the counter guy 

Genji: The what? 

Sombra: The counter guy! 

Sombra: The one who gives you the drinks! 

Mercy: …

Mercy:  _ The bartender?  _

Sombra: YES THE BARMAN 

Edgedork: I swear 

Edgedork: If he hasn’t been eating 

Mercy: And why do you care? 

Edgedork: Maybe because unlike you I think about the people whose lives I meddle with 

Lucio: wow 

Lucio: can I have a name for you?

Lucio: don’t wanna keep calling you edgedork haha 

Edgedork: … 

Edgedork: Reaper. 

Winston: The one who broke into my lab?

Winston: And tried to kill me? 

Winston: And tried to hack Athena? 

Tracer: don’t forget that he tried to steal the doomfist!!

Tracer: and he stepped on your glasses!! 

 

**[Edgedork changed name to Reaper]**

 

Reaper: There we go. 

Reaper: Also: It was my job. 

Winston:  _ Stepping on my dead adoptive father’s glasses was not part of the job  _

D.Va: woah that got heavy very very quickly. 

Lucio: we are all criminals 

Lucio: more than one of us is drunk and sad 

Lucio: and two of us are part of a terrorist group 

Mercy: Who else is drunk and sad? 

Lucio: guilty on that first part 

Lucio: not that much tho

Lucio: its a tradition 

Lucio: we’d all drink right before we tried somethin 

Lucio: gotta continue the tradition 

Mercy: Please do not bring yourself to a state like McCree. 

Mercy: And who is sad? 

Genji: That is obvious. 

Genji: Who was always the most excited around the holiday season? 

Mercy: Oh. 

Genji: The loss of Ana hit us all hard. 

Genji: But it was hardest for him. 

Tracer: I thought we agreed not to talk about them today!! 

Tracer: we didn’t want to make this sad and guess what

Tracer: we made it sad :( 

Reaper: 

Sombra: Were you typing something Gabi? 

Sombra: I dropped him off btw 

Sombra: Hes at the hotel and Im on my way back 

Genji: Why do you call him that? 

Sombra: What

Genji: Why do you call him “Gabi”? 

Sombra: Why dont you get Mercy to tell you that 

Genji: Mercy? 

Mercy: I guess it must be his name. 

Sombra: Nice deflect 

Sombra: I thought that was the Shimadas thing though ;) 

Reaper: Sombra, quit making trouble. Just get back to the base. 

Sombra: Awww

Mercy: I cannot believe I am saying this. 

Mercy: But thank you. 

Tracer: mercy!! 

Tracer: he’s our enemy!! 

Tracer: and you’re thanking him?? 

Lucio: didnt he take care of McCree though 

D.Va: Lucio makes a good point! 

D.Va: he can’t be all bad! 

Mercy: Debateable. 

Sombra: Hana is right 

D.Va: do not call me that! 

D.Va: it is strange! 

Sombra: Alright Hana 

D.Va: STOP

Lucio: Hana

Lucio:  _ chill _

Reaper: Sombra. 

Reaper: I told you to stop. 

Sombra: What are you going to do

Sombra: Kill me 

Reaper: Hmph. 

Sombra: <3 

Genji: This is like watching a bizarre sass off. 

Genji: It’s like ping pong. 

Genji: Back and forth and back and forth 

Lucio: you call that sass 

Lucio: you shoulda met my friend 

Lucio: he was a sass master 

D.Va: Was? 

Lucio: yeah he died 

D.Va: I am so sorry…

Lucio: he knew what he was gettin into when we went against Vishkar 

Lucio: we all did 

Lucio: he just was in the wrong place at the wrong time 

Sombra: I  _ hate _ Vishkar!! 

Reaper: wait you do 

Sombra: YES!! 

Sombra: They are just like Talon but legal somehow!

Sombra: Ugh I cant believe they do the things they do! 

Lucio: they tried to “““““rebuild””””” my neighborhood 

Lucio: so we revolted 

Lucio: pushed them outta there 

Lucio: I stole their stuff 

Lucio: and now Im an international star 

Sombra: GOLD STICKY STAR TO YOU

Sombra: Im so happy someone stuck it to those freaks 

Winston: You have a lot of anger against these people. 

Sombra: Well duh 

Sombra: All these international companies are corrupt

Lucio: preach 

Lucio: vishkar is terrible 

Sombra: And Lumerico is as well! 

Lucio: did we just become friends

Sombra: Yes

Sombra: Yes we did 

Reaper: Oh no

D.Va: Lucio why

D.Va: how could you have abandoned me? 

Lucio: I didnt!! 

Sombra: You can be my friend too ;) 

Genji: Anything with that level of winky face is anything but good. 

Sombra: You wound me cyborg ninja dude 

Sombra: I should give you all nicknames 

Reaper: Don’t. 

McCree: psssst

McCree: purpl lady 

McCree: watch this 

Genji: What is he doing? 

Tracer: I thought you brought him to a hotel!! 

Sombra: I did 

Sombra: Apparently head injuries aren’t permanent 

McCree: loook at hsit s 

McCree: imm gonna hitem all 

Sombra: WOAH 

Tracer: what??? 

Sombra: He 

Sombra: he just shot a perfect target??? 

Genji: KNOCK HIM OUT RIGHT NOW. 

Genji: DO IT.

Genji: HES GOING TO HURT HIMSELF. 

Sombra: Okay

Mercy: …

Mercy: Well, that was an event. 

Genji: What were they talking about? 

Mercy: It doesn’t matter. 

Winston: I think it does if it involves the Reaper. 

Tracer: sorry love

Tracer: but Im backing Winston on this!! 

Mercy: I cannot say. 

Mercy: It is against medical practice. 

Genji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hanzo Shimada: Brother. 

Genji: Brother 

Hanzo Shimada: I am sure you are all curious about what Mercy-san has to say. 

Hanzo Shimada: But I am more worried about our potential comrade McCree. 

Tracer: awww!! 

Tracer: he does care <3 

Hanzo Shimada: You mistake my concern. 

Hanzo Shimada: I do not want a drunken man working with us. 

Genji: He’s always been like this. 

Genji: I just…

Genji: Think it got worse after we were disbanded. 

Mercy: YOU KNOW WHAT

Mercy: I’M TIRED OF ALL THIS SAD SCHIEI ßE

Mercy: IT’S  _ CHRISTMAS  _

Tracer: yeah!! 

Tracer: we have to celebrate another christmas together!! 

Lucio: well since were all together

Lucio: how about we set up a party? 

D.Va: HECK YES!! 

D.Va: I will make some good stuff! 

Tracer: I’ll bring over my girlfriend!! 

Tracer: Emily is the best <33333 

Genji: We look forward to meeting her. 

Tracer: then we can play cards!!   
Tracer: and drink eggnog!! 

Tracer: and make cookies and eat frosting and throw ornaments at each other!! 

Sombra: Sounds much better than our parties

Genji: You have parties at Talon? 

Sombra: Well

Reaper: She tries to have one. 

Reaper: She goes through the base and throws tinsel at people while wearing the most hideous sweater I have ever seen. 

Sombra: Well its cold

Lucio: hey since youre my friend now

D.Va: NO

Winston: Definitely not. 

Lucio: i’ll keep an eye on her tho 

Sombra: Ill probably behave 

Lucio: you’re really not helping my case here

Sombra: In that case

Sombra: Ill leave my equipment somewhere

Sombra: And turn off my cybernetics 

Sombra: Its not cold there is it 

Lucio: Nope 

Lucio: i like the heat so its nice 

Winston: Lucio.

Winston: You can’t just invite Talon agents to a party at our  _ secret base  _

Mercy: They are going to attack us if they find out where we are.

Genji: It would probably be best to keep on the move anyway.

Sombra: Look 

Sombra: I already know youre stationed in Britain 

Tracer: !!!

Tracer: what?? 

Winston: How were we compromised that quickly? 

Sombra: ;) 

Reaper: Why didn’t you tell me this 

Sombra: You never asked 

McCree: wiat 

McCree: briaia n 

Reaper: I thought you knocked him out. 

Sombra: Let me try again

Mercy: Do not. 

Genji: Hana, the decorations are up. 

D.Va: hells yeah 

D.Va: food status?

Lucio: gonna be delicious 

Lucio: me and zenny boy together

Lucio: a masterpiece 

Sombra: I’m coming over 

Reaper: How? 

Sombra: Translocator 

Sombra: Duh 

Tracer: is that like a teleporter?? 

Tracer: I’ve never heard of that before!

Sombra: Here we go 

Sombra: Lets hope I dont splice myself again 

 

**[Sombra is now offline.]**

Lucio: uh 

Lucio: crap 

D.Va: at least she is out of our chat now! 

Reaper:  _ Mierda _

Reaper:  _ Ella fue de Dorado a Gran Bretaña  _

Winston: Translation anyone? 

Mercy: Don’t look at me. 

Zenyatta: He said that she went from Dorado to Great Britain. 

Hanzo Shimada: And why would that matter? 

Hanzo Shimada: I have heard that Vishkar is working on instantaneous transportation. 

Hanzo Shimada: How is this different? 

Reaper: Well  _ maybe _ it’s because it’s  _ a couple thousand miles?  _

Reaper: And last time she tried to do this she 

Genji: She? 

Reaper: …

Reaper: That’s none of your business. 

Genji: I see. 

Mercy: And why do you even care about her? 

Mercy: Last I checked you didn’t mind murdering your own soldiers. 

Tracer: yeah!!

Tracer: more than once I’ve seen you shoot your own people!! 

Tracer: and do something over their body?? 

Tracer: that’s messed up >:( 

Reaper: She’s useful. 

Reaper: And what I do to the henchmen is not your problem. 

Winston: I say that the activities of our enemy is important. 

Mercy: What you do is barbaric. 

Reaper: It’s no worse than you dragging them back to life. 

Reaper: They don’t feel anything. 

Reaper: They’re already dead. 

Genji: …

Genji: What do you do. 

Hanzo Shimada: I feel as if this is not the best topic to be discussing brother… 

Genji: Brother, I must know. 

Genji: We put our lives at risk in these fights. 

Genji: If he can counteract Angela’s work… 

Zenyatta: She can bring people back to life? 

Mercy: Yes. 

Hanzo Shimada: We discussed this earlier... a week ago I believe? 

Mercy: If they have a working soul I can bring them back after a short period of time. 

Mercy: He destroys their soul. 

Reaper: I do not. 

Tracer: my soul?? 

Tracer: you said you just repaired my mind!! 

Tracer: a soul is a real thing??? 

Mercy: Of course! 

Mercy: This… man I knew had over 50!  

Genji: What 

Mercy: He was kind of crazy… 

Mercy: Okay, a lot crazy. 

Mercy: And is a very bad man. 

Mercy: But I’m pretty sure he’s immortal and he  _ does _ know a lot about medicine... 

Reaper: Immortal huh? 

Mercy: He’d probably dissect you. 

Genji: How can you dissect a ghost? 

Genji: Actually, don’t answer that question. 

Genji: I don’t want to know. 

D.Va: EVERYONE OFF THEIR PHONE THIS INSTANT!! 

Hanzo Shimada: …

Genji: O.o  

D.Va: Lucio and Tracer and I set up this party 

D.Va: And I am not going to let you waste it! 

D.Va: alright

D.Va: I see no one is getting off like I said. 

D.Va: Lucio? 

Lucio: got it 

Lucio: frog_1.gif

Lucio: nope_vid.avi 

Genji: What ar

**[Genji was disconnected from Happy Holidays!]**

**[Zenyatta was disconnected from Happy Holidays!]**

**[Happy Holidays! has crashed.]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support I've been getting! Sorry the wait has been a bit longer than I expected, school has priority  
> A few random notes:  
> -I really like the Mercy changes, it brings me back to my Medic days from TF2  
> -The Reinhardt changes ROCK ITS THE BEST PART OF THIS UPDATE  
> -I'm a mediocre Lucio main who really doesn't care about comp all that much 
> 
> Again, thanks for all the support! Hopefully the next chapter will come a bit faster!


	4. Hey! No one is actually dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone in Overwatch receives one (1) get out of death free card

**[Winston has restarted Happy Holidays!]**

**[All joined Happy Holidays!]**

**[McCree changed chat name to how do we even save the world like this]**

 

Winston:  _ McCree _

McCree: Its the truth 

McCree: How do we save the world like this 

Tracer: you can’t say that stuff!! 

Tracer: we are competent!! 

Sombra: Heck yeah you are 

Lucio: ey sombero 

Lucio: it was nice to meet you 

Lucio: though stealin my records 

Lucio: not cool 

Sombra: Hey they were out there for free 

Lucio: >:( 

Winston: Look.

Winston: The only reason I reactivated this is because our new member wishes to join the communication channel. 

McCree: Its been literal months since we broke the last one

McCree: And weeks since soldier got here

Winston: Still. 

Winston: I haven’t gotten around to adding him to the chat. 

Mercy: I cannot wait to speak to him through chat! 

Genji: Why don’t you speak to him IRL? 

Mercy: I have! 

Mercy: The chat is another experience though...

Hanzo Shimada: Can we pretend like we are a normal organization for once? 

Hanzo Shimada: I would have left if not for my brother. 

McCree: Partner

McCree: None of us are normal 

Hanzo Shimada:  _ Can you please stop calling me partner.  _

Genji: It is just the way he talks. 

Lucio: besides

Lucio: 76 is such a dad

Lucio: he already knows what we get up too

Lucio: he already knows we’re freaks

 

**[Winston has added Soldier 76 to how do we even save the world like this]**

 

Tracer: Winston!! 

Tracer: we weren’t ready!! 

Tracer: we haven’t even changed the chat name!! 

Genji: Welcome to Overwatch’s chat room! 

Soldier 76: Thank you. 

McCree: Where are you 

McCree: Id like to talk in person

McCree: I dont think weve met yet

Winston: He is in the cafeteria. 

Lucio: hey 

Lucio: hana wants to know why her phone is exploding

Lucio: she says its interrupting her concentration 

Hanzo Shimada: We have gained a new member to the chat.

Genji: You mean memeber. 

Hanzo Shimada: NO I DO NOT 

Reinhardt: They are not a memeber yet! 

Reinhardt: They have not passed  _ The Test  _

Soldier 76: I feel like I should be worried. 

Genji: Probably. 

Mercy: Oh! 

Mercy: I should tell you. 

Mercy: We have two --lovely-- Talon agents in here. 

Mercy: What the--! 

Sombra: JAJAJAJAJA 

Soldier 76: Great. 

Soldier 76: Can you get them out? 

Sombra: Good luck with that 

Sombra:  Asesino de los muertos 

McCree: You went after los muertos

McCree: No wonder they were so pissed 

Soldier 76: They are a cancer on Dorado. 

Sombra: asl;dkjf;lkasjdl;k fja;sldkjf;lksaj;lkf

Sombra: >>:( 

Soldier 76: Pardon me for not feeling bad about Talon agents. 

Sombra: Ooh you are  _ so lucky  _ he’s out right now 

Soldier 76: Who? 

Genji: She invited the Reaper in here. 

Genji: He’s been surprisingly civil except for when he started text yelling at Mercy. 

Reinhardt: Yes! 

Mercy: He did tell this… Sombra 

Sombra: Thats me amiga 

Mercy: To knock out McCree. 

Mercy: Please stop hacking my phone. 

Lucio: she’s not going to stop 

Lucio: its like trying to get me to stop mixing music

Lucio: or Hana to stop playing games

Lucio: or Reinhardt to stop yelling 

Lucio: its not going to happen 

Sombra: ;)

McCree: So partn

McCree: WHAT THE HELL 

Genji: What’s wrong McCree? 

Soldier 76: Dont 

Soldier 76: Say anything 

McCree: LIKE HELL I WONT 

McCree: THIS SOLDIER GUY 

McCree:  _ ITS JACK  _

Genji:  なんてこったい

Mercy: Jack??? 

Mercy: butbutbut 

Tracer: you died??? 

Reinhardt: You’re alive????? 

Reinhardt: I spoke at your funeral! 

Soldier 76: Look it’s not what you think

McCree: I cant believe this 

McCree:  _ You  _ lived 

McCree: Out of everyone 

McCree: The golden boy gets to live 

Soldier 76: I don’t know if you recall but your commander was trying to sabotage Overwatch. 

Soldier 76: And  _ you _ ran off. 

McCree: You dont know what he was plannin’!! 

McCree: He was tryin’ to warn you you estúpido pedazo de mierda!! 

McCree: And he 

McCree: damn it 

Genji: McCree. 

Genji: Mr. Reyes was a great commander.

Genji: But he did try to overthrow Overwatch. 

Tracer: yeah!!

Tracer: he kept trying to get jack out of power!!

Tracer: im still mad at you jack!! 

Soldier 76: You know what? 

Soldier 76: I’m not the only one who lived. 

 

**[Soldier 76 added Ana Amari to how do we save the world like this]**

 

Tracer: >:o 

Tracer: jack!! 

Soldier 76: She’s alive! 

Genji: That was cruel. 

Mercy:  _ You _ proclaimed her dead remember? 

McCree: I hope youre proud of yourself Jack 

McCree: You upset Reinhardt 

Soldier 76: No I swear she’s alive. 

Soldier 76: She’s been stalking the base and missions for weeks. 

Genji: Then how come none of us have seen “Ana?” 

Winston: I have had no movement on cameras either. 

Winston: You are playing a very cruel joke Jack. 

Winston: First being not dead and now lying about Ana. 

Winston: I shouldn’t have made you a mod. 

Soldier 76: I’m not joking! 

McCree: Like hell you aint 

McCree: Youre also dead 

Genji:  _ Oh wait.  _

Hanzo Shimada: I am so confused. 

Lucio: same man 

Lucio: same 

Mercy: Let me simplify a very long story here. 

McCree: You cant do it 

McCree: Youre too biased 

Mercy: Well so are you! 

Mercy: Even after he  _ literally blew us up  _ you still defend him! 

McCree: Reyes wasnt stupid! 

McCree: Do you _honestly think_

McCree: He would blow up a buildin’ he was in? 

Mercy: If it meant getting rid of Jack then yes. 

Genji: …

Genji: McCree… has a point. 

Genji: Why would he..? 

Sombra: Dios mio 

Sombra: Basically Soldier 76 is this guy named Jack Morrison and he and Gabriel Reyes got into a fight over how Overwatch was supposed to be 

Sombra: The Swiss HQ blew up and they both died

Sombra: But not really ;) 

Lucio: oh ok 

Lucio: so this soldier guys a zombie 

Soldier 76: No. 

Soldier 76: Just a vigilante. 

Mercy: I suppose he didn’t actually die then. 

Mercy: I didn’t find two bodies in that rubble pile. 

Reinhardt: I still cannot believe this! 

Reinhardt: I was at your funeral! 

Reinhardt: WHy didn’t you come back?? 

Soldier 76: There was no reason to. 

Soldier 76: You thought I was dead. 

Soldier 76: It was best it stayed that way. 

Genji: No. 

Hanzo Shimada: Definitely not. 

Hanzo Shimada: I mourned my brother for years. 

Hanzo Shimada: It took a while to believe it... but I am glad he is alive. 

Tracer: is everyone forgetting how he pretended ana is alive??? 

Tracer: way to be a jerk Jack!!! 

Tracer: you called it!! 

Genji: I did not forget. 

Genji: I was simply waiting to tell him how cruel that was in person. 

 

**[Ana Amari joined how do we save the world like this]**

 

Ana Amari: what the heck did you put me in jack 

Ana Amari: my phone 

Ana Amari: it has exploded with messages 

Reinhardt: ANA?? 

Ana Amari: um 

Reinhardt: LSDJF;LAKSDJF;ASDOIRUEADJ;KLJ???????????

McCree: YOURE ALIVE?? 

Tracer: :OOOOOOOOOO

Tracer: who’s actually stayed dead???? 

Mercy: But Jack said you died! 

Ana Amari: i have no idea who you are talking about 

Ana Amari: i found this communicator in the trash 

Soldier 76: Ana don’t lie. 

Ana Amari: lol 

Ana Amari: says you mr “dont call me jack its soldier 76 now” 

Ana Amari: this name is annoying how do i 

 

**[Ana Amari changed name to Ana]**

 

Ana: there we go 

Genji: You…

Genji: You’re actually alive? 

Ana: yep 

McCree: but you died 

Ana: no i just bled out through my eye 

Reinhardt: Ana 

Reinhardt: I 

Ana: oh dear no dont 

Ana: i just 

Winston: Why? 

Tracer: we all mourned you! 

Tracer: your death split overwatch apart! 

McCree: We thought

McCree: Jack said 

Ana: i got shot okay

Ana: i was bleeding out with glass shards stuck in my face 

Ana: i drag myself to a hospital 

Ana: and i wake up 

Mercy: How? 

Mercy: How did you get to a hospital? 

Ana: lol no clue 

Ana: all i know is one moment im shot and the next i wake up 

Ana: and i find out that everything ive worked for is ruined 

Ana: the hq blew up 

Ana: my best friends are dead 

Ana: were scattered and i dont even know if anyone is alive 

Ana: i couldnt come back 

Ana: but i couldnt just sit back either

Ana: i had to help 

Ana: so i did 

Mercy: You were in a coma… 

Genji: For months. 

Genji: That’s a little hard to believe. 

Ana: well it was more like a couple years actually 

Ana: and sorry carrot boy 

Ana: like i said 

Ana: got shot woke up and everyones dead 

Sombra: Its true you know 

Sombra: I have her records from the hospital 

McCree: I 

McCree: This is just 

McCree: Next youre going to tell me the boss is alive too 

Soldier 76: He’s not. 

Soldier 76: Don’t worry. 

Ana: if my cover has been blown i guess ive got to do this 

Ana: hackergal 

Sombra: Si?

Ana: can you hack into the base for me 

Ana: access the speaker system 

Sombra:  _ Si  _

Mercy: Ana what are you doing. 

Ana: when i arrive i want to arrive in all my glory 

Ana: prepare yourself 

Sombra: What song? 

Ana: im typing it in rn 

Ana: can you see it 

Sombra: Yep 

Soldier 76: Ana. 

Soldier 76: Don’t do this.  

Ana: jack let me have fun

Soldier 76: Don’t call me that. 

Soldier 76: And you’re always so serious, what brought this on? 

Ana: jack its a chat

Ana: im allowed to be weird in chat 

Ana: and its a good song ;( 

Soldier 76: If it’s Darude Sandstorm or Rick Astley I am going to kill you. 

Ana: oh don’t worry its not

Genji: Wait. 

Genji: What the heck is this? 

Ana: you’ll see 

Soldier 76: Ana. 

Ana: ARE YOU READY

Soldier 76: ANA 

McCree: This song

McCree: It’s familiar

Ana: ADRENALINE IS PUMPING 

Ana: ADRENALINE IS PUMPING 

Ana: GENERATOR 

Ana: AUTOMATIC LOVER 

Reinhardt: ATOMIC 

Reinhardt: ATOMIC

Ana: OVERDRIVE

Reinhardt: BLOCKBUSTER

Ana: BRAINPOWER

Ana: CALL ME A LEADER

Reinhardt: COCAINE 

D.Va: you 

D.Va:  _ what have you done  _

Ana: DONT YOU TRY IT 

Ana: DONT YOU TRY IT 

Reinhardt: INNOVATOR 

Ana: KILLER MACHINE 

Reinhardt: THERES NO FATE 

Reinhardt: TAKE CONTROL

Ana: B R A I N P O W E R 

Reinhardt: LET THE BASE KICK 

Reinhardt:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Ana:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Reinhardt:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Ana:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Reinhardt:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Ana:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Ana:  O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Ana: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

Ana: O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA

 

**[Winston muted Ana for 10 minutes]**

**[Winston muted Reinhardt for 10 minutes]**

 

Soldier 76: Thank you. 

Genji: What was that? 

D.Va: it is a popular twitch meme from  _ years _ ago. 

D.Va: it goes to the song playing called “Brainpower” 

D.Va: during the chorus… 

Lucio: that chat spam occurs 

Lucio: I 

Lucio: I cant believe the famous Ana Amari is a memer 

Soldier 76: She was a lot better back then. 

Soldier 76: She says “dying” made her realize that there are times to be serious and times to be fun. 

Soldier 76: I wish she would stop using her old memes though...

McCree: I cant believe shes actually alive 

Genji: At least we know it’s her. 

Reaper: Sombra I’m back. 

Reaper: Did I miss anything important? 

Soldier 76: What, 

Soldier 76: The actual 

Reaper: Oh. 

Reaper: You’re in Overwatch now? 

Sombra: Hey Gabi lets not start this rn 

Reaper: I think this is the perfect time to start this. 

Soldier 76: Why haven’t you kicked him out yet? 

Winston: Sombra will just add him back. 

Sombra: Benefits of being a world class hacker 

McCree: This is  _ great  _

McCree: Welp 

McCree: Time to break out the whiskey again 

Genji: Jesse. 

McCree: You cant stop me Genji 

McCree: I bought it and Im going to drink it

McCree: I need it 

Reaper: Why do you insist on drowning out the most minute things in alcohol? 

McCree: Have you not read up 

Sombra: Nope

Sombra: If we are not at the phone it doesnt receive messages 

Sombra: So it doesnt vibrate or ding and give away our position and such 

Ana: thanks for the mute winston 

Ana: feels GREAT man 

Ana: especially now

Ana: just broke in through your window since you wouldnt respond to my messages 

Reaper: Ana? 

Ana: what the heck 

Soldier 76: He’s a terrorist for Talon. 

Reaper: I’m 

Reaper: You 

<<Sombra: Hey Gabi >>

<<Sombra: Deep breaths. >>

Soldier 76: What are you trying to say Reaper? 

Ana: dont antagonize him jack 

Ana: cant upset the terrorists 

Reaper: He didn’t

Reaper: He didn’t tell you? 

Ana: tell me what 

Soldier 76: Don’t you dare. 

Soldier 76: There are others in this chat. 

Mercy: Oh don’t mind us. 

Genji: Yes, we aren’t paying attention. 

Ana: jack 

Ana: what arent you telling me 

Soldier 76: It’s nothing important. 

Ana: alright 

Ana: ill just ask you later ;) 

Soldier 76: Oh no. 

Genji: What’s wrong now? 

Soldier 76: That means she’s going to come and sleep dart me. 

Ana: oh no not yet

Ana: ive got other things to do 

Mercy: I’m not sure if I should worry about this or not 

Sombra: Probably not jaj 

Sombra: Shes an old woman

Winston: If that’s what you want to think. 

Reinhardt: Who’s at my door? 

Reinhardt: Oh! 

Ana: hi 

Reinhardt: Hello!

Genji: OvO 

Tracer: :DDD

Mercy: Calm down you two. 

Tracer: don’t pretend you’re not doing the same thing Mercy!! 

Lucio: is there something i’m not gettin here 

Lucio: like

Lucio: an inside joke or somethin 

Genji: Oh you’ll see. 

Hanzo Shimada: Brother. 

Genji: Brother 

Hanzo Shimada: What have I told you about meddling in others lives? 

Genji: That I shouldn’t do it

Hanzo Shimada: And? 

Genji: That I have no place to do it anyway

Hanzo Shimada: That is correct. 

Hanzo Shimada: Now leave them alone. 

D.Va: did I hear talk of ships? 

Sombra: what 

Mercy: No? 

Soldier 76: There are no boats here. 

Soldier 76: At least that I know of. 

D.Va: you really are old. 

D.Va: OOOOH I DID 

Lucio: hana no 

Lucio: thats not what they said at all 

Genji: They were very close before she 

Genji: uh

Ana: i died you can say it 

Ana: i dont care lol 

Ana: bc its the truth 

Tracer: look what you did Genji!! 

Genji: What did I do? 

Tracer: you’re interrupting their reunion!! 

Reinhardt: Oh don’t worry! 

Reinhardt: We are simply swapping stories! 

D.Va: can I record you guys? 

Ana: uh 

D.Va: I am sure your stories will be interesting! 

D.Va: And they would definitely be worth something! 

Winston: I can confirm. 

Winston: Reinhardt’s stories are amazing. 

Reinhardt: You flatter me Winston! 

Soldier 76: It’s true. 

Genji: Yeah, hearing about Eichenwalde was really cool. 

Tracer: and the stuff you and Ana did while drunk!! 

Tracer: hilarious!! 

Soldier 76: Not when you’re their contact…

Ana: oh yeah you were our contact

Hanzo Shimada: Explain, if you would. 

Ana: when we got arrested or were too drunk to make it back hed come pick us up 

Ana: sometimes gabe would come with and just 

Ana: laugh at jack 

Ana: cause hed be trying to move us and were smashed 

Reinhardt: I remember that! 

Reinhardt: Many good Oktoberfests and lots of good beer! 

Tracer: Ana do you still have that dress?? 

Genji: She had a dress? 

Tracer: yeah!!!

Tracer: it was really pretty!! 

Tracer: i asked because i want to take Emily with me this year!! 

Ana: whos emily 

Tracer: MY GIRLFRIEND 

Winston: Here we go again. 

Tracer: MY WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL EMILY 

Tracer: I LOVE HER SO MUCH <3333

Ana: im happy for you lena 

Tracer: <3333

Soldier 76: So Ana’s accepted back with open arms but you’re all mad at me for faking my death? 

Genji: Yes. 

Ana: its because im a top meme and youre a stick in the mud 

Soldier 76: Am not! 

Soldier 76: I kept us safe! 

Ana: yeah but 

Ana: i was doing fine before you decided to follow me 

Ana: soooo

Soldier 76: I guess this stick in the mud isn’t giving you your eyepatches back. 

Hanzo Shimada: You have an eyepatch? 

Hanzo Shimada: I thought you were a sniper. 

Hanzo Shimada: How can you shoot with only one eye? 

Ana: carefully 

Mercy: I’m sure I could regrow your eye for you! 

Ana: ehhhhhh

Ana: its part of who i am now 

Ana: besides 

Reinhardt: We match now! 

Reinhardt: No depth perception buddies! 

Ana: dabs 

D.Va: no 

Lucio: yes

Genji:  _ NOOOOOO _

Sombra: YEESSSS

Zenyatta: Forgive me. But I do not know what this “dab” is. 

Lucio: wait 

Lucio: Zen you can do the thing right 

Genji: Lucio don’t you dare. 

Zenyatta: If the “thing” is my transcendence, then yes. 

Lucio: and that gives you extra arms yeah

Sombra: Ooooh I know what youre thinking 

Genji: Don’t. 

Reinhardt: DO IT. 

Ana: DONT LET OUR MEMES BE DREAMS 

Ana: im on my way 

Zenyatta: I am in the kitchen with the other members. I am sitting by the door. 

Mercy: MEIN GOTT 

Mercy: When did you get here?? 

Ana: im a sniper

Ana: im sneaky 

Genji: Ana, Lucio, I’m begging you. 

Genji: I’ll do anything. 

Lucio: too late ninja dude 

Lucio: D A B 

Tracer: what happened to your hair??? 

Tracer: it used to be black!! 

Ana: well being dead for a couple years will do that to you 

Ana: just look at jack

Soldier 76: Don’t look at me. 

D.Va: this I have to see. 

D.Va: hold up I am on my way. 

Zenyatta: So this is how you dab, correct? 

Reinhardt: Y E S 

Ana: that was beautiful 

Ana: that transcendence is filled with so much peace and happiness im ;’) 

Genji: Master why do you do this to me 

Genji: I didn’t deserve this 

McCree: Objection 

Sombra: Objection sustained 

Mercy: Objection overruled on the grounds of fratricide. 

McCree: =l :l 

Genji: What is that. 

Hanzo Shimada: Yes, what is that. 

McCree: Its

McCree: Its a face???

Hanzo Shimada: No, what is above the face.

Reaper: I believe that is his hat. 

McCree: Heck yeah its my hat 

Genji: Jesse no 

D.Va: that is actually super lame dude 

Mercy: I have to agree. 

Tracer: let the man wear his hat!! 

Ana: are we bringing it back

Reinhardt: It seems that way! 

Reaper: I can’t believe you brought it back. 

Lucio: it used to be a thing? 

Ana: yeah 

Soldier 76: Back in our old chat group he did that too. 

Soldier 76: But then again…

Soldier 76: He was pretty young. 

D.Va: how young you talking? 

D.Va: younger than me? 

D.Va: because even I think that is lame 

McCree: Hey! 

McCree: Its not lame 

Soldier 76: How old were you when you joined our chat group? 

Ana: after i convinced you that it wouldnt be tactical anyway

Solder 76: So…

Reaper: It took years. 

McCree: I was like 

McCree: I wanna say in my 20s with the official one 

McCree: But the other one I joined right away

D.Va: you 

D.Va: you did that in your 20s 

McCree: No I started it when I joined the other one 

McCree: That was when I got adjusted

Soldier 76: Gabe told me about that. 

Soldier 76: When you wouldn’t eat and insisted on murder for payment? 

McCree: It was the way things were 

D.Va: oh. 

Lucio: how old were you? 

McCree: …

Reaper: 17. 

D.Va: whaaaaat??!?!?! 

Tracer: jesse!! 

Tracer: you never said you were that young!!! 

Tracer: I assumed you joined just before I did!! 

McCree: Nope

McCree: Got picked up outta the desert after the raid on my gang 

Hanzo Shimada:  _ Your  _ gang? 

Genji: Deadlock. 

McCree: Bingo 

D.Va: you were in a gang at 17??? 

McCree: Uh

McCree: Yes? 

Ana: you were such a cute kid 

Ana: so sassy

Ana: but also really nervous 

McCree: You know how hard it is to go from one style of life to another 

Sombra: Si 

Genji: Yes. 

Hanzo Shimada: Yes. 

McCree: Well 

McCree: Goin’ from a gang where a mistake would get you killed to this place 

McCree: Hard to change a mentality that kept you alive for years 

D.Va: :( 

Tracer: I 

Tracer: I never knew Im so sorry Mccree!!

McCree: Dont worry bout it darlins 

McCree: Its not a big deal 

Tracer: not a big deal?!?!?! 

Tracer: I think its a pretty big deal!! 

McCree: Its really not 

McCree: please let it go

Tracer: everyone I have an idea 

Mercy: What’s your idea? 

Tracer: lets have some fun!! 

Tracer: games and food to celebrate Ana and Jack not being dead!! 

Reinhardt: That sounds wonderful! 

Reinhardt: I’ll bring the alcohol :D

Genji: That is a great idea. 

Sombra: Im coming 

Winston: No you aren’t. 

Sombra: Ill behave~ 

Winston:  _ No.  _

Ana: why not

Ana: is it because she works for talon

Ana: im a criminal in so many countries and you let me come

Ana: and based on her name shes the one who broke into volskyas place

Reaper: Yes, that was us. 

Reinhardt: Why would you do that? 

Sombra: They wanted us to kill Miss Volskya 

Sombra: But Widow missed ;) 

Ana: H A 

Tracer: but she killed Mondatta!!

Tracer: and uh

Genji: She did kill Ana too. 

Reaper: Not very well, apparently. 

Sombra: ROASTED 

Sombra: OOOOH 

Reaper: Sombra she’s not even in the chat. 

Winston:  _ Please don’t add any more Talon members _

Winston:  _ Seriously  _

Sombra: I dont know… 

Sombra: Maybe if I get to come I wont ;) 

Mercy: This is a bad idea.

Hanzo Shimada: I am inclined to agree. 

Winston: It’s better than having a third Talon agent in here. 

Reaper: Debateable. 

Mercy: Hey! That’s  _ my  _ line! 

Reaper: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Reinhardt: A P P R O V E D 

Ana: D O U B L E A P P R O V E D 

Soldier 76: Ana  _ please.  _

Soldier 76: He’s tried to kill me please don’t approve that 

Ana: too late

Reaper: Too late. 

Lucio: Im calling jinx 

Soldier 76: It doesn’t work like that… 

Lucio: it does now 

Lucio: you can fight me soldier 

Lucio: Im right here honestly fight me 

D.Va: a fight? 

Hanzo Shimada: *sighs* 

McCree: Alright place your bets 

McCree: Lucio v Jack 

Ana: i bet 20 on lucio 

Soldier 76: We’re not fighting! 

Lucio: easy win for me then 

Lucio: come at me 

Mercy: No fighting! 

Sombra: Ill even the odds 

Sombra: 5 on the old man 

Reinhardt: Oooh, this is a difficult decision… 

Soldier 76: Don’t tell me you’re betting too…  

Reinhardt: Well of course I am! 

Reinhardt: I just won 300 dollars because of our last bet! 

Hanzo Shimada: Don’t remind me. 

D.Va: LOL you actually lost?? 

Genji: It was very close. 

Genji: But yes, he did use his dragon first. 

Hanzo Shimada: I WAS PROVOKED. 

Genji: True. 

Zenyatta: I was sure Genji would use it first. 

Genji: YOU BET TOO MASTER?!?! 

Zenyatta: Yes. 

Reinhardt: 90% sure everyone did! 

Ana: i know i did 

Genji: But you were dead?? 

Hanzo Shimada: Yes, what my brother said. 

Soldier 76: She stalked the base for weeks. 

Soldier 76: When I signed up she was in a tree outside the base watching. 

McCree: I was so sure itd be Genji 

Genji: You wound me Jesse. 

Mercy: Actually…

Winston: We bet on you too. 

Genji: WHY 

Reinhardt: And that is why I am 300 dollars richer! :D 

D.Va: what are you going to buy? 

Reinhardt: What do you think? 

Lucio: oh no 

Reinhardt: Have you considered: 

Reinhardt: Yes

Lucio:  _ OH NO  _

D.Va: is this inside joke or something? 

Soldier 76: Don’t tell me. 

Soldier 76: You aren’t still obsessed with  _ him _ are you? 

Reinhardt: AHAHAHAHA!! 

Reinhardt: SO MANY HASSELHOFF RECORDS :DDDDD

Reinhardt: AND SO MUCH GOOD BEER!!! :DDDD 

Hanzo Shimada: Hmph. 

Hanzo Shimada: A waste of money. 

Sombra: Yeah you can just steal the music of the internet 

Reinhardt: But that’s dishonest! D: 

Sombra: So 

Sombra: Besides hes dead

Sombra: Who would the money even go to 

Ana: and i thought you had all his songs already 

Reinhardt: I do! 

Reinhardt: There is a vintage copy of one of his albums on CD and I want it! 

D.Va: C….D? 

Lucio: what in the world is that 

Soldier 76: It stands for Compact Disk. 

Soldier 76: It was a way of holding music back in my day. 

Lucio: “back in my day” 

Lucio: are you serious

Soldier 76: I’m not a young man anymore.

Ana: H A 

Soldier 76: Oh shut up. 

D.Va: huh?

Tracer: yeah!! 

Tracer: Ana is like 

Tracer: 60??? 

D.Va: WOAH 

D.Va: DID WE JUST GET A GRANDMA?!? 

Ana: if you want i guess 

Mercy: Makes me want to see Fareeha.

Mercy: Wonder how she’d react to seeing her mom be a grandma. 

D.Va: YOU HAVE A KID???? ?

Lucio: Hana chill 

Genji: Hana please calm down. 

Ana: yes i have a child 

Ana: she probably hates me now haha 

Reinhardt: Ana… 

Mercy: Fareeha would never hate you. 

Ana: are you sure about that 

Sombra: I can add her in if you want ;) 

Ana: NO DONT 

Genji: You will have to talk to her eventually. 

Soldier 76: That’s what I’ve been saying. 

Ana: i know 

Ana: just 

Ana: Not now. 

Lucio: on an off topic note

Lucio: hello soldier ;) 

Soldier 76: What the... 

Zenyatta: Oh my. 

Genji: That is quite impressive Lucio. 

Lucio:  (ง •̀_•́)ง

Soldier 76: NO!

Lucio:  _ (ง •̀_•́)ง  _

Soldier 76: Oh my god.

Ana: here let me rig the stakes here 

Ana: whoever gets the most thumbs up gets a nano boost

Soldier 76: Overwatch was a mistake. 

Soldier 76: dalkjflkjadl;

Reaper: What just happened? 

Zenyatta: Lucio just fell of the ceiling and onto Soldier 76’s visor. 

Sombra: JAJAJAJAJAJAKLDJS;FKLJAK

Sombra: THIS IS HILARIOUS 

Tracer: hey can you guys calm down a bit?? 

D.Va: pot calls kettle black much? 

Tracer: hey!! 

Tracer:  _ anyway!!! _

Tracer: I got the games and stuff set up!! 

McCree: Yall dont have to do this 

Tracer: too bad!! 

McCree: Well then 

McCree: Ill relight my firepit 

Soldier 76:  _ YOUR WHAT  _

McCree: My firepit 

Soldier 76:  _ THAT IS SO AGAINST REGULATIONS AND YOU KNOW IT JESSE MCCREE _

Genji: Brother, care to join me in the kitchen? 

Hanzo Shimada: Don’t bring it up again. 

Genji: No I’m being serious. 

Genji: If we are doing this we better cook something. 

Genji: People tend to get ornery without food. 

Hanzo Shimada: Oh. 

Hanzo Shimada: Very well then. 

Mercy: I should probably join you. 

Mercy: Don’t want you using your spirit dragons frivolously! 

Hanzo Shimada: Have you met my brother? 

Sombra: Once 

Tracer: Winston!!! 

Tracer: is the cannon ready??? 

Winston: Affirmative. 

Soldier 76: What?? 

Mercy: When did you get a cannon??? 

Winston: I…

Winston: Built it? 

Mercy: WHY??? 

Winston: Well what else are we going to use to shoot off tones of streamers? 

Winston: And fireworks? 

Winston: And water balloons? 

Winston: A cannon is a very versatile tool. 

Genji: Are you kidding me. 

Torblerone: First point: Whoever changed my name, I hate you. 

Torblerone: Second point: We never kid about artillery. 

Reinhardt: Sorry old friend! 

Torblerone: Consider yourself a dead man Reinhardt. 

Torblerone: No more amour repairs for you. 

Reinhardt: </3 

Torblerone: Maybe next time you’ll think twice about messing with my electronics now! 

Mercy: You encouraged Winston to build a weaponized party cannon?! 

Torblerone: Well when you put it like that… 

Ana: classic trollbjorn 

Torblerone: wait what 

Ana: yeah im alive btw 

Ana: had to come back 

Ana: you needed someones business to stick your nose into 

Reaper: We’ve been through this conversation. 

Sombra: Shh! 

Sombra: Let the old people reunite Gabi 

Reaper: Hmph. 

Lucio: oh yeah!! 

Lucio: Ive got to get my dj stuff set up! 

Sombra: And Ive got to get over there 

Winston: Sigh. 

Mercy: Welcome to my life Winston. 

Soldier 76: Have fun leading this motley bunch. 

Winston: But Commander Morrison! 

Winston: You have much more experience than I do! 

Torblerone: Double what 

Ana: come out of your workshop and ill explain everything you salty man

Reinhardt: We’re in the kitchen! 

Hanzo Shimada: If Sombra is to make it to the party, she owes Reinhardt 5 dollars. 

Hanzo Shimada: Also, for reasons unknown, Ana has won 30 dollars. 

Ana: knew betting on a specific event would get me more money 

Ana: sorry rein 

Reinhardt: It’s no problem my lady! 

Genji: OvO 

Tracer: :D 

Mercy:  ≖_≖ 

Genji: Let us have  _ some _ fun, Dr. Ziegler. 

Mercy: No. 

Hanzo Shimada: Brother. 

Genji: Brother

Reaper: Not again. 

Hanzo Shimada: Yes again. 

Hanzo Shimada: I must continue this until my brother learns his lesson. 

Genji: I get the gist. 

Genji: But it’s fun! 

Tracer: yeah!!

Tracer: they are so cute!! 

Reinhardt: Um. 

Reinhardt: You do realize I am right here, ja? 

Reinhardt: You aren’t even trying to hide your laughter… 

Tracer: well you need this!! 

Winston: Lena. 

Tracer: yeaaaaah? 

Winston: I know you’ve seen things in the Slipstream. 

Winston: But these things take time. 

Winston: And not your time either. 

Winston: His time. 

Tracer: awwww :( 

Ana: before we start this party

Ana: completely serious question

Soldier 76: I swear if it’s  _ another random question   _

Ana: i said serious

Soldier 76:  _ YOU SAID THAT THE LAST 20 TIMES!!  _

Soldier 76:  _ YOU ALMOST GOT ME KILLED LAST TIME!  _

Ana: lol whoops

Reaper: Wait, I want to hear about this. 

Sombra: Same

McCree: Hesitantly curious 

Mercy: Have some respect for Jack! 

McCree: Hes not my commander I dont have to respect anything 

Mercy: Jesse… 

McCree:  (ง •̀_•́)ง 

Lucio: have I started a meme

Ana: you call that a meme 

Winston: No… 

Winston: Don’t do it Ana please

Ana: i wasnt thinking of that one but thanks for reminding me 

Ana: i was refering to c u 

Genji: CURSED WORDS 

Sombra: Gabi is laughing so hard right now 

Sombra: Its actually hilarious 

Soldier 76: I hate you both so much. 

Soldier 76: It’s “I’ve got you in my sights.” 

Reaper: It’S I’vE goT yOu iN my sIGhtS

Ana: N I C E 

Soldier 76: Ana and Gabriel I swear to God you need to cut it out! 

Soldier 76: Uh 

Reaper: That’s not my name. 

Reaper: I don’t know who you think I am but 

Reaper: It’s not that. 

Tracer: okay!! 

Tracer: everything is all set up!!! 

Genji:  _ Read the mood _

Tracer: ?? 

Winston: Wait.

Winston: Has anyone seen McCree? 

Hanzo Shimada: Yes.

Hanzo Shimada: He is in the kitchen with us. 

Hanzo Shimada: He seems to be unscrewing a panel in the wall? 

Genji: No, he’s breaking open his alcohol stash. 

Reinhardt: Another one? 

Soldier 76: What do you mean another one? 

Reinhardt: Oh, I’ve found stashes all over the base! 

Reinhardt: He must have finished the ones he had in the air vents in the living room and went to the kitchen for more! 

Soldier 76: Oh my god Jesse 

Tracer: Jesse!!!

Tracer: we told you to stop drinking!! 

McCree: Its not that much 

McCree: Honestly 

McCree: Besides is there any other way to drown out the crushin’ sorrow of existence 

McCree: And findin’ out that everyone is alive except for the one you wanted not to die the most

Ana: i take offense to that 

McCree: Sorry

Ana: im joking 

Ana: even if jack doesnt

Ana: i miss him too 

Soldier 76: You are forgetting that he tried to kill me. 

D.Va: WHY WILL YOU OLD PEOPLE NEVER EXPLAIN WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT

D.Va: ITS MAKING ME SO FRUSTRATED I AM SCREAMING 

Lucio: Hana please stop screamin 

Sombra: Actually you all can hold up 

D.Va: ??

Mercy: Seconded on the question marks. 

Zenyatta: I do not mean to alarm anyone, but are the lights supposed to be turning purple? It seems like a very unusual color for lights to be. 

Soldier 76: Everyone get their weapons right now. 

Soldier 76: I knew having Talon agents in a chat with us was a bad idea. 

Sombra:  ¡SORPRESA!

D.Va: AAAAAA

Sombra: Woah calm down there missy 

Sombra: And you too old man

Sombra: I said to cALM DOWN STOP SHOOTING HOLY 

Reaper: Wait.

Reaper: Sombra, are you in their base? 

Sombra: SI 

Reaper: Why? 

Reaper: And why haven’t you informed anyone of its location? 

Sombra: Didnt feel like it 

Reaper: SOMBRA 

Sombra: JAJAJAJA

McCree: shhhh 

McCree: Youre too loud 

Sombra: No Im not 

Genji: McCree you're just an alcoholic. 

McCree: No Im not

Mercy: As your doctor I can officially say that yes, you are an alcoholic. 

McCree: Im not though

McCree: I only drink when Im sad or thinking too much 

McCree: Drowning out the memories is easier than living them again 

Mercy: …

Mercy: Have you been having nightmares again? 

Genji: I can answer that for him. 

Hanzo Shimada: He sleeps? 

Mercy: Not enough evidently. 

Tracer: why are we such a mess??

Tracer: trying to have a good time and it's all sad :( 

D.Va: I will force everyone to have a good time if needed 

Zenyatta: That would be unwise. Let people come as they are ready. We already have a fascinating new friend to celebrate with! 

Sombra: Youre right orb boy 

Reaper: I expect a full report when you return. 

Sombra: Jaj okay 

Winston:  _ why do I even try _

Hanzo Shimada: I don't know. 

Lucio: any song requests? 

McCree: Ive got one

D.Va: if you play country I am leaving 

Hanzo Shimada: Agreed. 

McCree: Yall hurt me =l :’(

D.Va: THE STUPID HAT 

D.Va: AAAAAAA

Sombra: Hey chica

D.Va: yes?

Sombra: You want to play a game or something 

Ana: I HAVE A GAME

Reinhardt: Ssb4 I'm guessing?

Soldier 76: Is the Queen of Smash returning? 

D.Va: I cannot let this stand!

D.Va: I am the Queen of games!

D.Va: Who dares challenge me?!

Ana: final destination one stock no items fox only 

D.Va: what

Mercy: Good luck to you Hana.

Genji: Press f for respects 

Lucio: hey not to be rude 

Lucio: but I'd really appreciate it if you guys got off your phones 

Lucio: you don't have to but

Lucio: it's good to actually talk to people 

Ana: before we get off

Sombra: Are you texting while playing? 

Ana: yes

Ana: but that's besides the point 

Ana: Jesse. 

McCree: Yes maam? 

Ana: We care about you.

Ana: Please stop drinking, it’s hurting you. 

Ana: After this I am going to put in your old Westerns.

McCree: YEEEEHAAAW!!

D.Va: Oh my god 

Reinhardt: Everyone off! 

Reinhardt: Let us watch Hana get destroyed again!

D.Va: I CAN WIN I SWEAR 

Genji: Whatever you say. 

 

**[All have disconnected from how do we save the world like this]**

 

Reaper: I miss you mijo

Reaper: Soon 

Reaper: I'll be back soon 

Reaper: I promise

 

**[Reaper has deleted all unread messages]**

**[Reaper has disconnected from how do we save the world like this]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey thanks again for reading! If you have any questions at all, feel free to drop it in the comments!   
> I'm trying to make a Sp00k chapter but its taking a while   
> That Halloween event huh????? Ana finally got a skin and I'm ;')


	5. Summer Games? more like lets see how many people we can mess up with sports equipment

**[Ana changed the name to overwatchs summer games boi]**

Ana: @all

Ana: ITS TIME

**[All rejoined overwatchs summer games boi]**

Reinhardt: YES

Reinhardt: I AM R E A D Y

Soldier 76: _Ana WHY_

Ana: its time to break out the golf clubs old man

D.Va: WHAT

McCree: YES

McCree: I LOVE THE SUMMER GAMES

Lucio: hey I heard about these!

Lucio: isnt this where you guys all went and fought with sports equipment?

Lucio: like

Lucio: didnt someone use a bike and ride on the handlebars

Lucio: and shoot omnics while doing tricks?

Ana: that was gabriel

Soldier 76: I hated this dumb tradition.

Soldier 76: It was unnecessarily risky!

McCree: Youre just salty because I got a horse

Sombra: WHAT

Soldier 76: _WHY DID YOU RENT A HORSE?!?!_

Soldier 76: _IT MAKES NO SENSE_

D.Va: you actually got a horse??

McCree: Yup

McCree: Gotta be a cowboy at least once a year

McCree: =l :’)

Winston: Lena got everyone into the spirit.

Winston: She got me a volleyball jersey.

Tracer: yeah I did!!!

Tracer: number one track and field player right here!!!

Tracer: let me find my old suit!

D.Va: can I join this tradition?

Lucio: I want to too!

Zenyatta: I would not mind to participate either.

Ana: every overdork is welcome

Ana: you have any sport youre good at

Lucio: I play football and hockey

Lucio: wait some of you are american

Lucio: that would be soccer to you

Genji: Let me find my fencing gear.

Sombra: Okay I have to know

Sombra: What are everyone’s sports??

Torbjorn: I don’t want to interrupt this fascinating conversation.

Torbjorn: But I have a new son and I must add him to this chat.

Ana: what

 **[Torbjorn added** **SST Laboratories Siege Automaton E54 to overwatchs summer games boi]**

**[Torbjorn changed SST Laboratories Siege Automaton E54 name to Bastion]**

Bastion:

Torbjorn: This is a Bastion unit I found in Sweden.

Torbjorn: He is my new son and if anything happens to him I would kill everyone in this chat and then myself.

Bastion: 01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111

Zenyatta: Hello to you as well. I hope you enjoy your time here.

Bastion:

Torbjorn: He’s quiet, but really curious.

Torbjorn: Also.

Torbjorn: No loud noises around him.

Reinhardt: Torb why

Reinhardt: why did you bring a bastion here

Reinhardt: you know what they did to

Ana: we know.

D.Va: bastion is a new friend right…?

D.Va: maybe if we get him into this summer games spirit it will make it easier for everyone?

Genji: Hmm…

Zenyatta: I shall go speak to him and see what he likes. Perhaps an orb of tranquillity will help with the loud noise issues?

Soldier 76: We are not going through with the Games.

Ana: says you

Ana: ive got all my stuff set up for when i get back

Ana: and i already contacted fareeha about her stuff

Reinhardt: :0

Soldier 76: Wait, you’re back on speaking terms with her?

Soldier 76: I thought you said she hated you?

Ana: well

Ana: i went to egypt

Ana: it was very tearful

Ana: she understood why i did what i did

Ana: but shes still a little angry

Ana: and its understandable

Ana: she didnt deserve it

Ana: but weve made up and she says she might join us if she can get the military to let her go

Reinhardt: :’D

Reinhardt: Little Fareeha is coming back to us!

McCree: Itll be nice to see her again

Lucio: okay i called a friend

Lucio: and they called a friend and etc

Lucio: apparently

Lucio: get this

Lucio: a girl genius is a fan of me and is willing to hold my stuff until I can come pick it up

Sombra: Lucio

Sombra: Everyone is a fan of you.

Sombra: Even Doomfist is

Winston: Wait what

Sombra: Doomfist likes his music

Tracer: and how do you know this??

Tracer: we put him in jail??

Sombra: jaj

Sombra: he punched his way out of jail _weeks_ ago

Reaper: I had so much costuming to do.

Reaper: Why did we think that was a good idea?

Sombra: Beats me.

Sombra: Besides, don’t pretend you didn’t go overboard Mr Red Death

Reaper: >:l

Lucio: oh

Lucio: um

Lucio: thats cool???

Sombra: We want to get in on this Games thing

Tracer: no way!!

Tracer: its Overwatch only >:(

Hanzo Shimada: I do not know if I can participate…

Hanzo Shimada: I do not play any sports.

Ana: archery

Hanzo Shimada: Oh.

Genji: You are also quite skilled with the sword.

Zenyatta: I have been informed that Bastion would like some bird seed and boxing gloves. I believe with the internet Torbjorn has given him, he has discovered “Rock-em Sock-em Robots”.

Ana: on it

Ana: everyone else have their stuff

Ana: ill pick it up while im still out

Genji: Found it!

Hanzo Shimada: I will be myself…?

McCree: My usual outfit is enough of a costume

McCree: Now I just gotta get a horse

Soldier 76: No horses.

Soldier 76: And no Games!

Ana: dont worry jack i have your stuff

Soldier 76: WHAT

Ana: yep i already replaced your normal weapons

Lucio: Ive got to get my stuff from this girl in Numbani!

Lucio: Efi’s her name

Mercy: I suppose it’s time to break out the old Badminton kit!

Mercy: Get ready to get healed with Badminton balls! ^u^

Ana: actually i should put fareeha in here

Ana: ive got to send her her basketball stuff

**[Ana added Fareeha Amari to overwatchs summer games boi]**

**[Fareeha Amari joined overwatchs summer games boi]**

**[Fareeha Amari changed name to Pharah]**

 

Mercy: Fareeha!

Pharah: Hello Angela.

McCree: Howdy

Pharah: JESSE!!

Pharah: You’re still alive?

Pharah: I thought you would have been killed by now!

McCree: Nope

McCree: Still alive

Mercy: Oh, I see how it is.

Pharah: Look Angela.

Pharah: Jesse is pretty much my brother.

Mercy: Understandable.

Ana: everyone meet my daughter

Ana: im so proud of her

Ana: did you know shes my daughter

Pharah: Mom you’re so embarrassing.

Genji: Nice to hear from you again.

Genji: I like your call sign ^^

Tracer: FAREEHA!!!

Tracer: HAVE YOU MET MY GIRLFRIEND YET

Pharah: Finally got one?

Tracer: YES HER NAME IS EMILY AND I LOVE HER <333333

D.Va: good to meet another military officer.

Pharah: Aren’t you that famous streamer that fights with MEKA?

D.Va: yep!

Lucio: were both with Overwatch now

Lucio: your mom is super cool

Ana: you know it

Pharah: Don’t tell me you’re still corrupting the youth.

Ana: B)

Reinhardt: Fareeeeehaaaa :’)

Pharah: Reinhardt!

Pharah: Still haven’t retired yet?

Reinhardt: Me? Retire?

Reinhardt: NEVER!

Soldier 76: Nice to meet you.

Pharah: Hello to you too Jack.

Soldier 76: UM

Pharah: Mother told me.

Ana: _B)_

Ana: anyway we were talking about the games

Ana: you want to dunk people with a basketball

Pharah: Hell yeah.

Soldier 76: Pharah I can’t believe this.

Soldier 76: How can you tolerate this silliness?

Pharah: Easy.

Pharah: One: It raises moral to be silly.

Pharah: Two: I am my mother’s daughter.

Ana: أحبك ابنتي

Pharah: …

Ana: ah i see

Pharah: احبك ايضا

Ana: ;’)

Torbjorn: I still have my gear.

Genji: So we need stuff for my brother, Hana, Lucio and my master?

D.Va: actually, I think I may have something!

D.Va: I can get my dad to send me my bike!

D.Va: I used to do road cycling to get blood flowing after a long stream.

D.Va: now it is more just fighting that does that…

Lucio: and Efi has my stuff!

Ana: are we sure about that

Lucio: pretty sure…?

Ana: well i know how to fix that ;)

Soldier 76: Ana, we are not putting a child in this chat.

Ana: makes sense 

Sombra: Hey Jack~

Soldier 76: First of all.

Soldier 76: Don’t call me that.

Soldier 76: Second of all.

Soldier 76: No.

Sombra: Its funny how you think you can stop me

Reaper: Listen.

Reaper: She tends to take opposition as a challenge.

Sombra: Lets see~

Sombra: How many people will this annoy?

Reaper: Jack, about 3 higher ups and Akande.

Reaper: Having the guardian of Numbani in contact with Overwatch will probably upset them.

Reaper: Especially Akande.

Reaper: He doesn’t like Orisa at all.

Sombra: Its decided then

Soldier 76: Why do you encourage her.

Reaper: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**[Sombra added Efi to overwatchs summer games boi]**

**[Sombra added Orisa to overwatchs summer games boi]**

**[Efi and Orisa joined overwatchs summer games boi]**

 

Efi: what is this?

Orisa: I do not know.

Orisa: I strongly suggest being careful.

Lucio: hey Efi!

Lucio: A friend told me that a friend told him that a friend told them etc. that you have my soccer stuff?

Orisa: Look Efi!

Orisa: It is your idol!

Orisa: Hello Lucio!

Lucio: Hey Orisa!

Genji: Hello to both of you.

Genji: BROTHER WHY DID YOU TAKE MY SWORD

Hanzo Shimada: It was for your own good.

Hanzo Shimada: You're not even here how did you know about that? 

Genji: Zenyatta told me :( 

Genji: I'm hurt brother. 

Genji: You've killed me again 

Soldier 76: Sigh.

Ana: cant even act normal for 2 minutes

Ana: new record?

D.Va: nope, when Soldier came in we were normal for all of 30 seconds.

Ana: you misunderstood me dear child

Ana: 2 minutes being normal is a record

Reinhardt: What about that time Jack accidentally added a Government official to our chatroom?

Soldier 76: I had just managed to forget about that.

Efi: is this actually happening?

Ana: yep

D.Va: do not worry Efi.

D.Va: we are 90% harmless.

Hanzo Shimada: Miss Efi.

Efi: hi

Hanzo Shimada: I am very impressed with what you did with the OR-14 units.

Genji: I didn’t know you knew about that.

Hanzo Shimada: I am an assassin, not oblivious.

Genji: Point

Hanzo Shimada: You don’t count.

Orisa: Is this dangerous for Efi?

Reinhardt: Nope!

Orisa: !!!

Orisa: R-Reinhardt!

Reinhardt: At your service!

Orisa: I am a big fan,,,

Efi: is something acting up again?

Orisa: No, my programming is working fine!

Orisa: My idol,,, Reinhardt,,, I want to be him 

Efi: oh yes, you are parroting his lines quite often!

Reinhardt: !!!!! :DD

Reinhardt: I am honored to be considered an inspiration! 

Lucio: Oh yeah!

Lucio: my original question?

Efi: oh!

Efi: yes I am holding your stuff for you!

Efi: feel free to come and get it

Sombra: Efi is precious

Zenyatta: Agreed. Let me also extend a welcome to the third omnic to be in our little chat.

Orisa: Your welcome is quite appreciated.

Bastion:

Zenyatta: Forgive Bastion. He is still a little nervous at the keyboard, but gives a hearty and I assume Swedish welcome.

Torbjorn: That’s my boy :’)

Reinhardt: Have you abandoned your turret for Bastion?

Torbjorn: Ha!

Torbjorn: Have you stopped dancing with that hammer of yours?

Reinhardt: UH

Ana: that is adorable

Reinhardt: AAAAAAAA

Tracer: exposed!!

Tracer: what will happen next in this heated drama??

Pharah: Mother.

Ana: ye?

Pharah: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ana: akjdsl;fkjadl;skjfa

Soldier 76:  _NO_

Reaper: I honestly can't say I didn't see this coming. 

D.Va: dead meme....

D.Va: please never make that face again.

Pharah: _( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

D.Va: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Bastion: ( • ̀ω•́ )✧

Zenyatta: Bastion says he likes these emoticons he’s found.

Bastion: 〔´∇｀〕

Sombra: HRG

D.Va: ITS SO CUTE

Lucio: AGREED

Pharah: So it's cute when bastion does it but with me its weird? 

Pharah: I see how it is.

Mercy: We love you Fareeha <3 

Reaper: Sombra please.

Efi: um is that the terrorist reaper??

Orisa: Stand back.

Reaper: I’m not going to hurt her.

Reaper: She is a child.

Orisa: I am programmed to use lethal force if necessary.

Sombra: Efi just because we work for Talon doesnt make us evil

Efi: you work for talon too?!

Efi: that means you work for Doomfist!

Reaper: Pffft

Sombra: As if!

Orisa: Huh?

Sombra: No one can control me.

Reaper: And we’re about equals.

Reaper: Though if we fought I would probably win.

Sombra: And I would beat both of you~

Lucio: who would win out of all of us?

Pharah: Where is that chart we made?

McCree: Dunno

McCree: All I remember is I was higher than Genji

Genji: BS

McCree: Yep

Efi: is that Jesse McCree?

McCree: Youve heard of me?

Efi: yes!

Efi: you saved a relative of mine on a train headed towards Numbani once!

McCree: Just doin my job

Efi: still!

Efi: thank you!

McCree: No problem missy

Soldier 76: Wait, where are you?

McCree: In the medbay with Rein like I have been for the past couple of days

McCree: Now Genji

McCree: Hes gettin my horse

Soldier 76: MCCREE NO

McCree: McCree yes

Ana: youre in the medbay??

Ana: what happened???

Reinhardt: Nothing happened! 

Genji: McCree got out of position and Rein charged in to save him.

Reinhardt: How dare you betray me like this Genji

Genji: Sorry not sorry.

McCree: Angie's getting us all patched up so 

Mercy: It's my job. 

Ana: brb ill be back as soon as i can

Mercy: Really, don't worry about it. 

Mercy: Your mission comes first! 

McCree: Im keepin him company dont worry 

Reinhardt: We're watching old cowboy movies!!

Reinhardt: McCree was right! The Good The Bad and The Ugly is amazing!!

Pharah: Sorry to interrupt this fascinating conversation but I think I found the list!

Pharah: I wrote it when I was young so it’s a bit biased.

Pharah: WEAKEST TO STRONGEST

Pharah: Tracer, Genji, Mercy, McCree, Torbjorn, Gabe and Jack, Mother and then Reinhardt.

McCree: H A

McCree: I TOLD YOU GENJI

Genji: What?

Genji: I was a cool cyborg!

Genji: I had weapons in my arms! My body _is_ a weapon!

Mercy: How are Tracer and Genji not higher than me?

Pharah: You have mental strength.

Pharah: And sorry Lena, I don’t think I knew you that well back then.

Tracer: no its not a problem!!!

Tracer: I know im not the strongest here :)

Reinhardt: Why is your mother not stronger than I am?

Soldier 76: Are you seriously asking that question.

Reinhardt: Yes?

Reinhardt: I am but a man in armor and she is a warrior goddess!

Reinhardt: Do you remember her ripping apart an omnic with her bare hands?

Pharah: Yes.

Pharah: But like I said, the list is a bit biased.

Ana: okay im back

Tracer: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Genji: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ana: wOAH

Reinhardt: What happened? Are you hurt?

Ana: no

Ana: i got surprised 

Ana: enemy sniper found me ive really got to go 

Reinhardt: Please be careful! 

McCree: Stay safe dont die

Torbjorn: You've already used your get out of death free card.

Lucio: ???

D.Va: ????

Torbjorn: Everyone in Overwatch seems to have come back from the dead.

Torbjorn: Genji, Jack, Ana

Torbjorn: There's got to be a card. I haven't used mine yet.

Soldier 76: There is no card. 

Torbjorn: Mhm. 

Reinhardt: Now that I think about it...

Soldier 76: You can't be serious. 

Reinhardt: I do frequently escape death. 

McCree: We all do 

Pharah: That's war for you. 

Orisa: Do I get a card? 

Soldier 76:  _There is no card._

McCree: I think you already used yours darlin

McCree: Your previous form got punched by doomfist yeah 

Orisa: Correct. 

Orisa: However I am me! 

Sombra: Shes got a point 

D.Va: HEY I JUST FOUND BROWNIES!!!

D.Va: THEY ARE SO GOOD OMG

Reinhardt: Ana must have made them! 

McCree: Angie Fareeha can you please bring me some 

Mercy: Sigh.

Reinhardt: I want some too!!

Mercy: Double sigh.

Mercy: I will get you brownies, just don't blow yourselves up while I'm gone. 

McCree: Were watching movies 

Genji: That can be a dangerous past time. 

Hanzo Shimada: Should i even ask? 

Genji: Some things are better left unspoken. 

D.Va: YIKES 

Soldier 76: What happened are you alright? 

D.Va: I am fine old man.

Soldier 76: If anyone else hurts themselves I might scream. 

Winston: Please don't scream. 

Winston: I don't want to get distracted any more than I already am. 

Lucio: where did the brownies go?

D.Va: excellent question!

D.Va: lets ask our esteemed talon guests that. 

Reaper: no comment

Sombra: HEY

Sombra: I didnt do anything _this_ time!

Genji: Jesse, I’m sorry to tell you but your horse is dead.

McCree: =l :((((

Genji: I’ll get you a new one, don’t worry.

Soldier 76: Genji why do you do this.

Efi: is that a hat??

D.Va: yeah he’s a loser

Winston: Hana.

D.Va: I am only saying the truth

Lucio: you right

Lucio: except

Lucio: he's like the cool loser 

Lucio: yeah hes strange 

Lucio: but hes also the kinda guy to go buy you a six gallon tub of ice cream 

Lucio: and trickshot an enemy without even blinking

D.Va: you right, you true.

D.Va: McCree is the coolest loser we have

Efi: I like it!

Efi: can I wear a hat too?

McCree: Of course pumpkin

Efi: =l:)

Efi: I’m a hero like McCree!

McCree: Uh pumpkin I aint really a hero

Efi: you save people! 

Efi: so it's good enough for me =l:) 

Sombra: HRG

Sombra: Im dying come help me

Reaper: oh no what a shame

Efi: =l>:D

Orisa: May I wear a hat as well?

McCree: My hat is travelin and its not even movin

McCree: O course you can do it everyone is welcome to

D.Va: I cannot call you a loser anymore because Efi is doing it

D.Va: Trickery

Lucio: HELLO POLICE

D.Va: Yes?

Lucio: I’ve been BAMbooooooozled

Hanzo Shimada: ??

Lucio: sorry thats an old joke from a couple friends

Lucio: after gettin tricked you would go “hello police? Ive been Bamboozeld”

Lucio: I thought it was appropriate

Orisa: ^u^ l=

Orisa: I am tipping my hat because I am happy!

Orisa: c:l=

Orisa: Now I am wearing the hat again!

Sombra: HRGGGG

D.Va: AAARG IT IS TOO CUTE

Sombra: Gabi help

Reaper: I can’t, I’m busy.

Sombra: Oh yeah with what

Reaper: Nothing.

Torbjorn: If any of you are in my workshop, it’s not funny.

Reaper: Wrong room.

Reaper: Sorry.

Soldier 76: WHAT

Soldier 76: HE’S IN OUR BASE

Reaper: Ana your brownies are still the supreme overlord of brownies.

McCree: ...Shes not here 

Reaper: Oh yeah. 

Reaper: My bad. 

Soldier 76: Everyone get their weapons.

Reaper: I’m not here to cause trouble.

Reaper: I just

Genji: Guys I got Jesse a horse and I have returned.

Genji:

Genji: Is there supposed to be a car here?

Genji: I thought Reinhardt totaled the last one. 

Reinhardt: Depth perception is hard!! 

Reinhardt: Also it was very much worth it. 

Soldier 76: No.

Soldier 76: Everyone get ready to fight.

Soldier 76: Not you, Jesse and Reinhardt. 

McCree: Darn

Reinhardt: Agreed. 

Mercy: You need to stay in bed!! 

Mercy: I'll take care of this. 

Genji: You should get somewhere secure if we are under attack.

Reaper: You’re not under attack.

Reaper: I justtttttt

Soldier 76: Reaper?

Soldier 76: Is anyone hurt?

Soldier 76: Does anyone have any clue what just happened?

Mercy: Yes.

Soldier 76: What just happened??

Mercy: I sleep darted him.

Genji: How????

Mercy: Ana keeps sleep darts and bio containers everywhere.

Mercy: I figured he'd go past the kitchen if he took a wrong turn to Torb's workshop.

Mercy: So I took one of her sleep darts out of the empty spice holder and shot him with it.

D.Va: so…

D.Va: we have a terrorist now?

Genji: I vote for keeping him and reforming him.

Hanzo Shimada: That... doesn't actually happen in real life. 

Genji: Counter point 

Genji: McCree, me, You. 

Hanzo Shimada: Point taken. 

Soldier 76: He’s dangerous.

Soldier 76: We’ve all seen him in battle.

McCree: Uh, I havent 

Genji: Multiple times.

Hanzo Shimada: I do not pay attention to him, I am more focused on keeping that sniper of theirs off your backs.

Mercy: I'm going to drag him to a room. 

Soldier 76: A cell.

Soldier 76: And someone, destroy that transport vehicle.

Mercy: I... 

Mercy: I don't know where the holding cells are. 

Soldier 76: I'll show you. 

Sombra: You guys arent really planning on keeping Gabi are you?

Mercy: …

Winston: I…

Winston: I guess we are?

Sombra: Well then

Sombra: This seems like an ideal time to swap sides.

Sombra: Or at least I would if I could get out of this base

Lucio: eyyyy

D.Va: can we trust you not to leak information to Talon?

Sombra: Look amiga

Sombra: I am loyal to myself

Sombra: If it advances my cause to do that, then I will.

Sombra: But I probably wont ;)

D.Va: good enough?

Mercy: It could be useful to have a hacker on the team…

Hanzo Shimada: It could also be dangerous.

Sombra: Again

Sombra: You all are talking like you have a choice

Sombra: Even if you say I cant Ill come to break Gabi out anyway

Soldier 76: There are many more of us than there are of you.

Sombra: Tell me soldier boy.

Sombra: How well do you think you would operate if that visor of yours shut down?

Soldier 76: !

Sombra: And you ms miracle.

Sombra: How well would _you_ operate if your staff and wings wouldnt function?

Mercy: …

Sombra: Dont even get me started on Genji.

Sombra: I could turn him against you easily.

Sombra: Just like that Bastion unit, and those turrets your engineer loves.

Zenyatta: You will not touch my student.

Winston: I welcome all defecting members of criminal organizations.

Winston: If you edge out of line…

Winston: I have ways of dealing with hackers.

Efi: mr. Lucio, is it okay to stay in this chat?

Lucio: hey no need for the Mr

Lucio: just Lucio is fine!

Lucio: but yeah I'm pretty sure it is?

Winston: Efi and Orisa can stay.

Winston: They can be part of Overwatch and stay in Numbani!

Lucio: Like an associate

Winston: Yes!

Winston: If that is acceptable of course?

Orisa: It will be my pleasure to work with Overwatch!

Orisa: aand my,, hero

Efi: as Orisa’s engineer/creator sure!

Reaper: Where the hell am I

Soldier 76: YOU DIDNT TAKE HIS PHONE

Mercy: You try finding a cellphone on a terrorist! 

Reaper: Is this a cell?

Genji: In our defence, some of us did want to put you in a room.

Reaper: So you’ve taken me prisoner.

Reaper: And you didn’t take my communicator.

Reaper: *slow clap.

Reaper: *All the slow clap.

Soldier 76: We should probably take it.

Reaper: You are welcome to try boy scout.

McCree: Wait what exactly is goin on

Reaper: What, can’t you read?

McCree: Of course I can

McCree: I got distracted 

Reinhardt: As did I! 

Genji: I'm going in.

Genji: If I don't come out

Genji: all my stuff goes to my brother

Hanzo Shimada: Brother.

Mercy: I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Mercy: He can defend himself quite well! 

Reaper: I’m not going to kill Genji.

Reaper: Look, I just wanted my bike.

Soldier 76: You

Soldier 76: Your bike.

Soldier 76: You infiltrated our base just for a bike?!?!

Reaper: And stole a car.

Sombra: The higherups are so pissed jajajaja

Genji: Good thing Hanzo and I destroyed it.

Pharah: Would you like anything? 

Pharah: All prisoners get food and water standard. 

McCree: Blankets and pillows come with the extended pack 

Pharah: McCree thats 

Pharah: That's not wrong...

Reaper: I don’t want anything

Reaper: Actually I would like to go free and get my bike

Soldier 76: Ha. ha.

Sombra: Dont worry Gabi <3

Reaper: Oh good.

Sombra: Im swapping sides now

Sombra: Helping Overwatch from the inside

Reaper: WHAT

Lucio: yeah shes gonna be workin with us now

Sombra: They said they werent going to give you up

Sombra: So switching would benefit both me and you

Sombra: I would keep being your informant and do the same for OW 

Pharah: Aww.

Mercy: That really is nice of you.

Reaper: What if I let Akande know about your plans? 

Sombra: Your message would never send

Sombra: And we both know you wouldnt do that anyway

Reaper: Hmph.

Reaper: Akande isn’t going to be happy when he finds out.

Sombra: I know ;)

Sombra: I dont intend on letting him find out for a looooong while 

Winston: That you've swapped sides or that we have Reaper? 

Sombra: Both obviously 

Orisa: I have protocols ready for if Doomfist comes back.

Efi: She was designed to beat him!

D.Va: I would literally PAY to see that

McCree: We bettin on a fight again

Lucio: nah

Lucio: we already know whos gonna win

Lucio: doomfist aint got nothin on Orisa

Efi: :D

Efi: I am glad you think that highly of us!

McCree: Sorry to interrupt 

McCree: Mercy its cold 

Reinhardt: It's not cold!!

McCree: Im freezin in here 

Mercy: My lab needs to stay cold. 

McCree: aw okay 

Pharah: I can bring you blankets if you want. 

Reinhardt: I would love a blanket!

Genji: You just said you weren't cold??? 

Hanzo Shimada: Why would you want a blanket if you're not cold? 

Reinhardt: They're comfortable :( 

McCree: Hey stop making fun of him 

McCree: Reinhardts a good bean 

D.Va: he is the number one grandpa!

Lucio: even if his taste in music is objectively terrible hes a pretty good dude

Lucio: hanzo 

Hanzo Shimada: ?

Lucio: you wanna fight me 

Hanzo Shimada: No??

Lucio: oh okay 

Lucio: coward 

Hanzo Shimada: We will fight another day frog boy. 

Hanzo Shimada: And I will win. 

Lucio: keep telling yourself that

Mercy: Here are your blankets. 

McCree: Thank you so much Angie 

McCree: Youre a lifesaver

Reinhardt: Yes indeed! 

Reinhardt: Thank you Angela!

McCree: now its really hot 

McCree: just how i like it 

Lucio: speakin of hot

Lucio: who wants me to make dinner

Reinhardt: Y E S

D.Va: HELL YES

D.Va: DO IT LUCIO

Soldier 76: sigh.

D.Va: it is the summer games, yes?

D.Va: challenge mode!

D.Va: do it in your skates and football gear!

Lucio: dont have my football gear yet

Lucio: but I’ll do it in skates

Lucio: just you watch

Lucio: this will be the best stew youve ever had

Sombra: Aaaaaa I wish I was there

Lucio: we'll save you some

Sombra: I cant get there Im stuck in this stupid base 

Lucio: oh

Lucio: sorry then

McCree: I wish I could help

Mercy: You are on strict bedrest!

Mercy: Both you and Reinhardt!

McCree: why me

Hanzo Shimada: You inflicted this on yourself, cowboy.

Genji: Brother, he cannot help it.

Genji: It's better then being dead. 

Tracer: you need anything Jesse??

Genji: When did you get here?

Tracer: ive been here!! 

Tracer: listening

Tracer: waiting for my time to strike 

McCree: Nope

McCree: Im good Lena thanks

Genji: Also, I wanted to let you know that your horse is safe and sound in the gardens.

Genji: Thank you for reminding me Lena and Hana! 

Bastion: (◡‿◡✿)

Zenyatta: Bastion is making friends with the horse. He says that his bird likes it.

D.Va: Bastion has a bird?

Torbjorn: Yes, it is called Ganymede.

Bastion: （＾∀＾）

Zenyatta: Bastion is working on tending and protecting the garden. He says it is his new purpose. I am quite pleased, it will serve a useful spot to meditate.

Genji: Perhaps I should come and meditate with you.

Genji: Hana, would you like to join me?

D.Va: me???

D.Va: why?

Genji: Meditation is a good way to get rid of stress.

Genji: And I have noticed an abnormal amount of yelling during your streams.

D.Va: I am not yelling!

Soldier 76: You kinda are.

Mercy: You definitely are.

Lucio: Hana, I am your friend.

Lucio: And as your friend, I am telling you that you yell a lot.

D.Va: fine.

Genji: I will meet you out there.

Hanzo Shimada: I will as well.

Hanzo Shimada: It will be nice to spend more time outside.

Torbjorn: Treat Bastion well or else.

D.Va: I love Bastion he is adorable

Bastion: (*≧∀≦*)

Efi: maybe one day Bastion and Orisa could meet!

Orisa: Bastion units are the ones responsible for many deaths.

Orisa: I am not sure about this Efi.

Bastion: (ノ﹏ヽ)

Torbjorn: Don’t worry.

Torbjorn: My Bastion is a pacifist with PTSD from watching everyone die.

Torbjorn: Just keep the bird safe, and everything will be alright.

D.Va: I will build him a bird house!

Genji: I will help.

Hanzo Shimada: I will too. 

Torbjorn: None of you are engineers.

Torbjorn: Why do I have the feeling this is going to turn out just as well as the time you all tried to assemble that bookshelf?

Genji: That was a bookshelf from _HELL_.

Mercy: We cannot read the Swedish Witchcraft that is the IKEA manuals!

Tracer: only you can torb!!

Tracer: its gibberish!!

Tracer: 90% sure we lost someone on our trip to ikea in the first place!

Reinhardt: Poor poor Jackson....

Reinhardt: He will be remembered.

Torbjorn: It’s not that hard!

Mercy: _I_ _t's witchcraft._

Torbjorn: And Agent Jackson didn’t die!

Torbjorn: He showed up a week later claiming he subsisted off meatballs and his tears.

Torbjorn: I’m convinced you dumped him in the desert.

Genji: We did not.

Hanzo Shimada: Brother.

Genji: WE DIDN’T!

Reaper: We didn’t dump him in the desert.

Reaper: We only left him in IKEA.

Soldier 76: No, I’m pretty sure Jesse said to dump him in the desert.

McCree: No I didnt

McCree: That was Smith

Soldier 76: _Which Smith_

Soldier 76: _We had like 12_

McCree: Dunno

Genji: It was the one who called himself a survivalist?

Genji: Pretty funny.

Lucio: hey everyone!

Lucio: dinners ready!

D.Va: yissssss

Mercy: I’ll bring you some Jesse.

Reinhardt: What about me? 

Mercy: Oh, I'll bring you some too I suppose. 

Reinhardt: Thank you! 

Genji: How dare you not bring him food

Genji: You're a monster. 

Mercy: Whoops. 

Genji: I will duel you for his honor. 

Reinhardt: I can defend my own honor thank you very much!! 

Lucio: I already called fighting

Lucio: I guess its me and Genji against Mercy and Hanzo 

Sombra: Arent you supposed to be eating dinner around now?

D.Va: you are right!

Tracer: c’mon everyone!!

Mercy: Alright, phones off for now.

Mercy: You know how I feel about phones at the dinner table!

Genji: You fool.

Genji: My connection is Unbreakable!

McCree: Genji amigo chill

Genji: No McCree.

Genji: I will not chill.

Lucio: stews up!

Lucio: its gonna lose its warmth if you dont come get it soon

D.Va: we get it!

D.Va: I am here for foooooob

Mercy: Phones off now!

Pharah: If you insist.

**[All have disconnected from overwatchs summer games boi]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes im sorry this took so long  
> school has really been a hard thing to get through these past few months  
> hopefully this makes up for it??? i dont know  
> Let me know how i can improve and what you want to see in the future!! Thank you!


	6. in which Mercy messes up and blackwatch gets drunk

**[Mercy changed chat name to Overwatch and Blackwatch Party (No commanders allowed!!!)]**

Mei: Mercy this is a terrible idea… 

Mercy: Nonsense! 

Mercy: This is a fantastic idea! 

McCree: This is a terrible idea but Im all for it

Moira: I’m all in. 

Tracer: !!!!

McCree: Moira 

Moira: McCree. 

Genji: Genji. 

Tracer: Lena!! 

Mei: Okay my point still stands! 

Mei: Where are we even going to do it?

Mei: Ana is going to kill us if commander Morrison doesn't!! 

Mercy: I have recruited distraction. 

Mei: You didn't. 

Mercy: :) 

McCree: Uh I hate to break up this but 

McCree: Weve got the alcohol 

Tracer: woo!!

Tracer: good going!!

Moira: Is it the good stuff? 

Mercy: What do you mean by the good stuff?

Moira: That wasn’t directed towards  _ you _ Angela. 

Moira: McCree?

McCree: I have a message from the supplier

McCree: Aye Moira ya [redacted] shitehead I gotchur [redacted] booze dont go wastin it all at once ya hear me 

McCree: Your cousin is a damn riot 

Moira: Mm. 

Mei: This isn't going to turn out well…

Tracer: I can't wait! 

Genji: Give it to me I want to taste it

McCree: It prolly aint as strong as that sake in Japan

Genji: It probably tastes better. 

Moira: You're damn right it tastes better. 

Genji: Yes.

Genji: I want. 

Fareeha: I have mom distracted! 

Fareeha: Can I have some beer? 

McCree: NO

Tracer: no!!

Genji: No.

Mercy: Definitely not!

Fareeha: I’m old enough and Rein said I could :/ 

Mercy: Maybe so but 

Mercy: Ana would kill me. 

Moira: You should not be drinking

Mercy: We agree on something??? 

Moira: in excess

Mercy: M O I R A 

Fareeha: :D

Moira: You can have some. 

Mercy: NO

Mercy: NONONONO FAREEHA IS NOT GETTTING ALCOHOL ON MY WATCH 

McCree: You mean not on your Overwatch

Fareeha: not in your Overwatch you mean

McCree: Eyyy

Fareeha: Eyyyy

Fareeha: B)

McCree: =lB) 

Genji: …

Genji: |:|-)

Moira: :~)

McCree: =lB:l

Mercy: Guys please

Fareeha: I'm coming to the party 

Tracer: cool!!

Mei: Hey! Ice puns are my thing unu 

Tracer: aww I’m sorry Mei!!

Mei: It’s cool 

Mei: B3

Genji: I love this dumb organization 

Mercy: Even when you're in blackwatch? 

Genji: Especially because I'm in blackwatch. 

McCree: Yooo how many people did you invite Angie 

Mercy: …

Mercy:  _ Unimportant _

Moira: @Reinhardt

Moira: DRINKING COMPETITION LETS GO 

McCree: Oh god this is going to be hilarious 

Fareeha: He says ‘You're on my friend!!’ 

Moira: I am going to McDestroy him.

McCree: Uhh Moira youve already had like three shots 

Moira:  _ Your point?  _

McCree: Yeah I dont have one 

Genji: Should we go vc to record this terrible night for memories sake 

Tracer: yeah!!

Mei: I have a bad feeling about this… 

[Recording and voice logs engaged.]

Winston: Thank you. 

Genji: You’re welcome. 

Tracer: who's ready to get smashed!?

Moira: WOOO

McCree: WHOOOO

Genji: Wooo

Mercy: Wow, your department is wild for a research division!

Genji: Yeah.

Genji: Research. 

Moira: Lining up shots for anyone who wants to do them.

McCree: Genji me ‘n you 

Genji: Let’s do it cowboy.

Reinhardt: FAREEHA AND I HAVE ARRIVED!!!

Fareeha: Hi!

Reinhardt: GIVE ME A TANKARD OF ALE 

Reinhardt: NO, TWO!!!

Moira: You are going down. 

Reinhardt: Ah, I must give you fair competition! 

Moira: No one else can best you. 

Moira: I might as well give it a shot. 

Fareeha: I get it!

Fareeha: Because you’re drinking alcohol! 

Moira: Clever Girl. 

McCree: You two do your thing 

McCree: Im refillin shots 

McCree: And none of yall are gettin my whiskey

Genji: pleaaaaase

McCree: hhhhhh 

Genji: Best buddy 

Genji: My pal 

Genji: Heart of Hearts 

Genji: Cowfriend 

McCree: I hate you 

Genji: Thanks! 

Tracer: I wonder if I recall when I'm drunk will I get undrunk?

Winston: Let's not test that. 

Tracer: Awww 

Tracer: Winston you’re drinking though why can’t I test this?? 

Winston: You all drive me to this. 

Winston: I’m going to drink tonight and remember nothing and it will be a break from all the nonsense you agents put our science department through. 

Liao: Hey guys

Liao: W A T C H T H I S 

Reinhardt: LIAO NO

Fareeha: Liao no!

Liao: WHOOP

Mercy: Oh my god!!

Liao: ahahahah 

Liao: ow

Mercy: Liao why would you do that??

Liao: Fastest way downstairs

Liao: Didnt account for the pool table

Mei: guys….

McCree: What happened Mei 

Mei: ….

Mei: who went into the commander's room 

Genji: What happened. 

Mei: ……….

Mei: It. It doesn't really matter now does it

McCree: Mmmkay

Mercy: Oh god this was a terrible idea

Mei: NOW YOU REALIZE THAT??

Mercy: I DIDNT THINK WE WOULD BREAK SO MUCH STUFF 

Mercy: OR THAT SOMEONE… 

Mei: Well now you know. 

Reinhardt: You are a worthy opponent!!

Reinhardt: But never underestimate the power of German Engineering!

Liao: I bet you want to show that German Engineering to someone if u know what I mean 

Reinhardt: ghsjkandhdjl

Moira: NO HESITATION FOOL 

Fareeha: hahahahaha 

Reinhardt: LIAO YOU DISTRACTED ME 

Liao: ;) 

Reinhardt: IM GOING TO KILL YOU 

Reinhardt: AFTER I BEAT MOIRA 

Moira: YOU WILL NEVER WIN 

Moira: I WONT STOP UNTIL I PASS OUT ON THE GROUND 

Reinhardt: NEITHER WILL I!!

Mei: Guys?

Mercy: I'm going to take this red cup and drink whatever's in it. 

Fareeha: do it.

McCree: Never Palpy

Fareeha: Jesse!

McCree: =lB)

McCree: Genji what are you

Genji: watch this jesse

McCree: God hes drunk already

Genji: Im not drunk

Genji: Just watch this 

McCree: Please dont

Mei: Um, guys?

Genji: wh why not

Tracer: yeah why not??

Tracer: genji can do sick tricks!! 

McCree: Yeah but it doesn't mean you've got actually do it

Tracer: We do what we want Jesse!!

Reinhardt: I want more bier!!

Reinhardt: viele bier!!

Moira: No German. 

Moira: I don’t speak German. 

Mercy: This  _ is _ the good stuff. 

McCree: We did tell you

Tracer: Who wants to do shots!!

McCree: Lets play texas hold em 

McCree: You lose you take a shot 

McCree: Or strip its your choice 

Genji: I'm in

Mercy: Why not!!

Tracer: HECK YEAH!!

Liao: ILL BEAT U ALL 

McCree: Can you really

Liao: yes 

McCree:  _ Really _

Liao: if I can get out of the pool table 

Tracer: Oooh!!

Tracer: Actually let's do truth or dare!

McCree: But I already have my cards out 

Tracer: Fine…

Fareeha: Hey Mei why are you looking so nervous?

Mei: Well 

Mei: Some of blackwatch is passed out on the stairs already 

Mei: Someone broke the fence outside 

Mei: Someone is hanging on the ceiling fan and now Winston is blacking out 

Winston: Look im fine 

Winston: im not gonna pass out 

Mei: …

Fareeha: this was a mistake. 

Mei: Yes. 

Mercy: Wooo

Mercy: take off your shoes Tracer 

Tracer: k!!

Reinhardt: What was that noise??

McCree: She said take off your shoes not throw them through the TV

Tracer: haha whoops

Genji: Jesse

McCree: Yeah partner?

Genji: its cold 

McCree: You want my serape

Genji: Yes please 

McCree: Here you go 

Genji: Thank you 

Tracer: How do I keep losing??? 

Mercy: You are terrible at bluffing 

Genji: I dont have any clothes to take off 

McCree: Just take a shot Genji 

McCree: Im gonna keep winnin for you 

Mercy: HA 

Mercy: I win 

McCree: Spoke too soon 

Mercy: take off your pants 

McCree: no thanks 

Genji: take off your pants 

McCree: i said no 

Mercy: Fine shirt first 

McCree: Can’t I just take a shot? 

Tracer: Youve been drinking the whole game that wouldnt help at all!!

McCree: fine

Liao: guys help 

Mercy: are you stuck 

Liao: no 

Mercy: …

Liao: look I didn't mean to break the pool table 

Liao: I thought rein would catch me in his strong arms 

Reinhardt: Maybe if you had given me warning!!

Liao: I said watch this 

Moira: whatizthis number seben 

Moira: seven 

Moira: howre you not drunk 

Reinhardt: I am! 

Reinhardt: Well, pretty much. 

Mercy: ... 

Tracer: okay I think Jesse won

McCree: Yep

Fareeha: Guys your clothes 

Tracer: :) 

Fareeha: how did Genji get more clothes???

Genji: jesse gave me his 

McCree: at least i didnt have to give up the hat 

McCree: I'm going to get more to drink 

Moira: N YOU

Moira: HOWRE YOU NOT DRUNK

McCree: Im not drinkin as fast as you 

McCree: nhey im tipsy   

Moira: [redacted] YOU 

McCree: Come say that to my face 

Moira: I said jejkaodkjs,smalao 

Mei: oh gosh Moira's passed out

Reinhardt: I win!! 

Fareeha: Good job rein!! 

Reinhardt: HAHA!!

Liao: gnight 

Mercy: Oh lol I hope he's not dead 

Mei: Guys!! 

Mei: We might have a problem..!

McCree: well tracer is bouncing off the walls 

McCree: wait where did my hat 

McCree: HEY WHO TOOK MY HAT

Mercy: Now Genji is passed out or asleep too 

Torbjorn: What the hell is going on here 

Reinhardt: TORBJORN MY FRIEND 

Reinhardt: JOIN US!!

Amari: … 

Amari: Alright, who broke the table

Reinhardt: SCHEIßE RUN 

McCree: hasldk;jalk

Mercy: ANA 

Amari: You can’t run from the law 

Mercy: HE HIT HIS HEAD ON THE TABLE!! 

Amari: Whoops

Amari: And you’re not off the hook young lady 

Mercy: SCHEISSE 

Amari: YOU CANT RUN FROM THE LAW 

Tracer: Watch me!! 

Mercy: Watch us!! 

**[Recording and voice logs closed.]**

Reyes: Jack, you won’t believe this. 

Morrison: Sigh. 

Morrison: What happened this time? 

Reyes: Well~ 

Amari: Your protege decided to throw a party. 

Amari: When Torb and I came everyone was passed out or running. 

Reyes: And you hurt McCree. 

Amari: Look I didn’t mean for him to hit his head on the table 

Reyes: For gods sake Ana 

Morrison: Are you absolutely sure it was Angela?

Amari: Yes. 

Reyes: Do we have a damages report? 

Amari: Well. 

Amari: Liao broke the pool table, Lena’s shoe was yote through the TV, someone cut a hole in the fence, someone broke one of those automatic doors and now its making that hissing noise

Morrison: …

Amari: We had half of each department in the medical wing for alcohol poisoning or food poisoning or poison poisoning including Moira 

Amari: Liao broke his arm and got an impressive head injury 

Amari: The shooting range is. Well

Amari: I wouldn’t go there now. 

Amari: And Jack? 

Morrison: What else?

Amari: I have done you the favor of burning your bedsheets and communicator for you. 

Amari: Lock your room next time. 

Morrison: … 

Morrison: Should I ask? 

Reyes: Knowing my people, no. 

Amari: No. 

Morrison: Duly noted.

Morrison: What now? 

Reyes: Blackwatch only seemed to have broken the fence and part of our stairs.

Reyes: I'll get them to fix that.

Amari: Those agents better pay for what they broke. 

Reyes: They will.

Amari: Not yours I know they will

Amari: Jackary’s. 

Morrison: Please never call me that again. 

Amari: Once you get your soldiers behaving maybe.

Amari: Jackary.

Morrison: When I leave you to die don't be surprised. 

Amari: As if I would die before you old man 

Reyes: As an actual old man I am offended, 

Amari: As an actual old woman I say shut up Gabrielel

Reyes: How do you even pronounce that. 

Amari: Gabriel-e-l 

Amari: Pronounce the E and the L 

Reyes: Does that mean we get to elongate your name? 

Morrison: Ananana 

Reyes: Ananas 

Amari: Gabriel no 

Reyes: Perfect. 

Amari: Enough messing around.

Amari: Get your kids fixed up and tell Jesse sorry. 

Amari: Jack get your agents to repair all they broke. 

Amari: They better fix it well or I will be coming after them. 

Morrison: What would we do without you?

Amari: Die probably.

Reyes: You're right. 

Amari: I'm going to go sleep so.

Amari: Amari out. 

Reyes: I'm going to make sure Jesse’s okay. 

Morrison: I guess I'll go get new sheets and a communicator…

Reyes: Good luck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! I dont remember the last time I updated but!!  
> here is a chapter   
> I usually like to progress my story a little but with Retribution I wanted to type something a little fun   
> as usual, my authors comments   
> >I loved Retribution  
> >Hated the big Chungos tho  
> >Lucio buff???? yes please (I'm far too powerful now no one can stop me)   
> >Brig is fun but,,, she needs to be toned down a bit   
> >Rialto is super pretty and if anyone hurts the omnic oarsmen i will mcdestroy them  
> As always leave what you think below!!! I love reading comments


	7. nothing out of the ordinary, except for a break out and sports

**[Sombra created private group in overwatchs summer games boi]**

**[New group is called Talon affiliates only]**

**[Sombra added Reaper to Talon affiliates only]**

Sombra: Hey Gabi

Sombra: Im going to break you out ;)

Reaper: Thank god.

Sombra: See Talon still needs you

Sombra: And Id rather not see Ovw destroyed just yet

Sombra: Besides I need someone that can actually cook

Reaper: I'm glad.

Reaper: What’s the plan?

Sombra: The plan is Talon attacks somewhere nearby, Ovw goes to defuse it and I break you out

Sombra: Guards arent a problem

Reaper: That is a terrible plan.

Sombra: Yeah Ill just wing it

Reaper: :l

Sombra: At least youre getting warning

Sombra: If you didnt have your phone you wouldnt get one ;)

Reaper: Whatever.

Reaper: Just get me out of here.

**[overwatchs summer games boi is now active!]**

Tracer: private groups??

Winston: I forgot about that.

Sombra: Yeah dont worry about it ;)

Genji: When you end things with ;) it makes me worry about it.

Sombra: Well ;)

Sombra: Dont ;)

Sombra: Worry ;)

Genji: …

Tracer: …

Sombra: I wish I could go with talon

Winston: What do you mean?

Sombra: Theyre going out to Numbani to try and take care of Efi

Sombra: Akande hasnt let me out of the base bc hes too afraid Ill go kill a moneyman like he did

Genji: …

Tracer: …

Sombra: Whatever

Sombra: Being holed up here let me hack the mainframe some more <3

Reaper: Sombra you know what will happen if they find out about that.

Sombra: What kill me

Reaper: Maybe.

Tracer: wait back up!!

Tracer: did you say in Numbani??

Sombra: Whoops

Winston: @Efi

Winston: @Orisa

Efi: yes dr winston?

Winston: You don’t have to call me that Efi.

Efi: okay!

Efi: anyway what is it?

Orisa: Is it related to our other objective of getting Mr. Lucio his gear?

Tracer: talon may be going to Numbani!!

Efi: oh!

Efi: we’re ready for them! >:D

Tracer: I would feel a lot better if you had back up…

Genji: I would too.

Winston: Alright, gather the team.

Genji: Jesse is sleeping.  

Genji: Don't know where my brother is.

Tracer: uhhh I haven’t seen Rein!!

Winston: I know Bastion isn’t ready, and Zenyatta wants to spend time with him.

Genji: Ana is still on that mission.

Mercy: I am very busy today. Don’t bother me.

Tracer: and Jack is a stick in the mud!!

Soldier 76: Am not.

Reaper: Yes you are.

Soldier 76: I wouldn’t go anyway.

Soldier 76: I want to keep an eye on the prisoner.

Tracer: but Genji and I can’t go by ourselves!!

Orisa: I would be there to help.

Lucio: I would go!

D.Va: me too!

D.Va: I have got my bike and my gun and I am ready to roll!

Lucio: hey Hana

Lucio: was that a pun

D.Va: accidental I swear!!

Lucio: hm

Lucio: I’ll let you off this time

Lucio: but next pun

Lucio: and youre done

Soldier 76: You two are not doing the summer games.

Tracer: I’m already in my tracksuit!!

Genji: I’ve got my fencing gear ready.

Torbjorn: I have my swimsuit.

Soldier 76: For the love of all things holy please do not wear that.

Torbjorn: Maybe.

Soldier 76: I am begging.

Torbjorn: :)

Lucio: omg

D.Va: quick Lucio let us go!!

Lucio: yeet!!

Tracer: yeet!!!!

Soldier 76: _why._

Sombra: Its not that bad

Sombra: I could send you pictures of what Moira does in her spare time

Reaper: Don’t.

Efi: i’m curious now!

Orisa: Efi, sometimes things are best left untouched.

Sombra: (from afar)

Reaper: I hate you.

Sombra: <3

Efi: okay so ms tracer and ms dva and mr lucio and mr genji and mr torbjorn are coming?

Soldier 76: I will just to keep these kids in line.

Soldier 76: Count me in.

Soldier 76: Bastion, Zenyatta, you two take care of the prisoner.

Reaper: I have a name.

Orisa: Query.

Orisa: Will Doomfist be one of the ones attacking our home?

Sombra: Akande?

Orisa: Affirmative.

Sombra: Hm gimme a second

Soldier 76: Can we travel in such a large group?

Tracer: We should probably take the bullet train…

D.Va: I will go take my makeup off so I do not attract as much attention.

Efi: the bullet train will get you from Gibraltar to Numbani in around an hour!!

Orisa: I am looking forward to seeing you all!

D.Va: I am looking forward to beating up Talon on a bike.

Lucio: football 100

Soldier 76: Where’s my rifle.

Reaper: Lost your weapon?

Soldier 76: No.

Soldier 76: Who took it.

Tracer: dunno!!

Winston: Do you have a replacement?

D.Va: probably not.

Lucio: he loves that thing

Lucio: how did he let it taken

D.Va: out of his sights if you would.

Lucio: HANA OMG

D.Va: >:3c

Reinhardt: HAHAHAHAHA

Tracer: there you are!!

Tracer: where were you??

Reinhardt: Ah I am busy!

Soldier 76: Busy with what?

Tracer: everyone comfortable?

Winston: People are giving me odd looks.

Winston: Oh well.

D.Va: yep!

Lucio: Imma mix music

Lucio: hope my disguise works well

D.Va: you look much too roudy.

Lucio: and you look too plain

D.Va: excuse me

Lucio: youre excused

Soldier 76: Rein, what are you doing.

Reinhardt: Taking the weapons Ana stole away from the base!

Reinhardt: Have fun with your golf clubs!!

Soldier 76: I HATE YOU

Reinhardt: :D

Tracer: Rein!!

Reinhardt: :DDDD

Genji: Thank you for the gear.

Winston: I had to dig through our attic to find that.

Winston: It was worth it though!

Soldier 76: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AND ANA FOR THIS.

Soldier 76: I AM NOT GOING TO FIGHT WITH A GOLF CLUB.

Reinhardt: You can try.

Tracer: O.o

Genji: :0

Efi: that was unexpectedly ominous

Lucio: hey anyone have eta

D.Va: Luci we have been on this train for like.

D.Va: 10 minutes

Lucio: ughhhhhhh

Efi: you’re not that far away mr. lucio!!

Efi: the bullet train is really fast :D

Orisa: Yes!

Orisa: I am looking forward to seeing you all in person!

Torbjorn: Jack, resign yourself.

Torbjorn: You can’t rely on your weapon for everything.

Soldier 76: Don't call me that.

Lucio: hey Ori do you have a sport

Orisa: I have a spear for jousting!

Efi: Orisa???

Efi: when??

Orisa: I made it!

Efi: :0

Efi: :’)

Sombra: Doomfist is showing up

Sombra: But for the safety of everyone Im going to warn you

Reaper: Sombra, what did you do.

Sombra: I didnt do anything!

Sombra: But Widow is going too

Reaper: Why is she going?

Tracer: Widowmaker?

Tracer: I'm going to make her pay for what she did

Sombra: I kinda stole her rifle and hid it and told her it was in Numbani

Winston: Why would you do that??

Reaper: Don't question her.

Sombra: I dunno

Sombra: Its funny to make her mad

Tracer: we're all going to die…

Genji: She doesn't have her gun.

Genji: I will engage her in honorable dance.

Efi: dance?

Genji: I shouldn't kill someone without a weapon.

Orisa: I believe it would be prudent for someone to distract her!

Orisa: I can take on Doomfist.

Efi: and i will help!

Lucio: nuh uh

Lucio: Efi you are staying safe

Lucio: I dunno if Doomfist would hurt a child

D.Va: yeah!

Soldier 76: That means you should stay safe too.

D.Va: I can handle myself, thank you very much.

Soldier 76: I was more talking to everyone.

Soldier 76: You have a bike, and I have golf clubs.

Lucio: and I have my football gear!!

Winston: And I my volleyball.

Torbjorn: And my swimsuit!

Soldier 76: Rein, please tell him not to wear that in public…

Reinhardt: Wear what you please my friend!

Reinhardt: Make them _suffer_.

Lucio: wow Rein you need to chill

Genji: Really, what is up?

Reinhardt: I am feeling particularly spiteful.

Winston: May I ask why?

Reinhardt: No.

Genji: Alright.

Lucio: Eta?

D.Va: stop asking.

Soldier 76: We get there when we get there.

Sombra: Not much longer, I hope.

Efi: i am so excited!!

**Athena: Winston, there is someone on the perimeter of Gibraltar.**

Winston: Who is it?

**Athena: Suspect unknown.**

Tracer: Sombra…

Sombra: Si?

Tracer: you said you were on our side D:

Sombra: I am on my own side chica

Sombra: And I did tip you off about Akande

Sombra: Sooooo

Winston: Anyone able to stop her?

Genji: Angela said not to bother her.

Genji: And McCree has his phone on silent so he can sleep.

Torbjorn: Bastion?

Bastion: :(

Torbjorn: Don’t get hacked.

Torbjorn: If you see a purple haired woman shoot her.

Bastion: :((

Bastion: okay

Tracer: !!!!

Tracer: Bastion!!!

Torbjorn: I’m so proud :’)

Bastion: :D

Sombra: lol bye

Reaper: What she said.

Soldier 76: Sigh.

Reinhardt: Don’t you sigh us.

Soldier 76: Maybe if _you_ had been at the base instead of taking our weapons, they wouldn’t have gotten away!

Reinhardt: Shut.

Reinhardt: Up.

**[Reinhardt is now offline.]**

Tracer: why is he so upset??

Soldier 76: I wish I knew.

Genji: You don’t think it’s…

Efi: its what??

Soldier 76: Genji, do you know something?

Genji: Well.

Genji: Nevermind.

Soldier 76: ???

Genji: It’s just a hunch.

Tracer: I don’t think I’ve ever seen Reinhardt upset like that…

Torbjorn: I have.

Torbjorn: Last time, it was when Jack left Ana to die.

Soldier 76: I didn’t leave her to die!

Reaper: …

Genji: I mean…

Soldier 76: She told us to get out of there.

Soldier 76: I had to save my team.

Torbjorn: I was only explaining, Jack.

Torbjorn: No need to get so defensive.

Soldier 76: Fine.

Lucio: okay so

Lucio: this just reeks of bad energy

Lucio: anyone have some positive energy

D.Va: I do!

D.Va: hold up here

D.Va: Cat photos

D.Va: meow.jpeg

D.Va: fluffboi.jpeg

D.Va: ifitfitsisits.jpeg

Lucio: Awww

Efi: awwww!!

Orisa: Analyzing…

Orisa: Analysis complete.

Orisa: puppy.jpeg

Orisa: I believe my dog has a cute factor higher than these cats.

Torbjorn: Your analysis is incorrect.

Torbjorn: jetpackcat.jpeg

Genji: !!

Genji: Is that your cat?

Torbjorn: Yes.

Lucio: I love him

Lucio: bring him over

Torbjorn: He is Brigitte’s.

Genji: Ah!

Genji: Brigitte is a credit to us.

Tracer: yeah!!

Tracer: she really helped against Doomfist!!

Sombra: Hey stop it

Sombra: Dont shoot me

Bastion: >:(

Sombra: Ugh

Reaper: Don't hack Bastion.

Bastion: >:((((

Torbjorn: Can you get them?

Sombra: If it wants to get closer I am going to shut its system down

Tracer: if you hurt Bastion I'll hurt you!!

Reaper: Sombra, just get us out of here.

Sombra: Got you~

**[Hanzo Shimada is now online.]**

Hanzo Shimada: Why did the lights go out?

Hanzo Shimada: I was trying to watch a documentary.

Mercy: WHO TURNED THE LIGHTS OFF.

Lucio: Hanzo you watch documentaries

Lucio: wow

Lucio: there is so much I dont know about you

Hanzo Shimada: Correct.

Mercy: I was working on a healing formula you better not have messed it up!!

Tracer: it was Sombra

Genji: Sombra

D.Va: Sombra

Sombra: Hey I thought we were friends :’(

Reaper: f

Mercy: …

Mercy: Did he get out?

Soldier 76: Yeah.

D.Va: it is a shame.

Lucio: oh well

Lucio: we can just beat him up again

Soldier 76: Or we could kill him.

Reaper: You can try.

Reaper: Sombra can you even drive??

Sombra: Kinda

Mercy: No texting while driving!

Sombra: Its. In my brain

Lucio: can you really not drive

Soldier 76: I wouldn't doubt it.

Sombra: They never had an orphan driving school lol

Tracer: D:

Mercy: …

Genji: Wow.

Genji: That was raw.

Winston: It was indeed.

Tracer: are you okay??

Tracer: like.

Tracer: do you need help??

Lucio: hey guys I think we are slowing down

D.Va: We are here.

Orisa: Welcome to Numbani!

Efi: mr Lucio here is your stuff!!

Lucio: I dont see you guys

Lucio: oh!

Lucio: I see Ori now

D.Va: Orisa you are so pretty!!

Orisa: Thank you!

Genji: …

Genji: No one is looking at me.

Genji: Am I not a freak here?

Hanzo Shimada: Numbani is one of the most accepting cities in the world.

Efi: mr Lucio!!

Efi: its an honor to meet you!!

Lucio: no you!

D.Va: no u

Lucio: the work youve done is astounding!

Lucio: building and fixing a defense unit!

Lucio: inspiring!!!

Efi: :D

Torbjorn: I want to take a look at you Orisa.

Torbjorn: I may not trust omnics, but you may yet turn into an opportunity.

Tracer: you should trust her!!

Tracer: you trust Bastion!!

Torbjorn: I found Bastion months ago.

Torbjorn: It took a long time.

Torbjorn: Besides, he's… Different.

Soldier 76: Keep an eye on him.

Soldier 76: Too many lives were lost from those units.

Tracer: we know.

Lucio: Efi thanks for the stuff!

Efi: Im right here mr Lucio!

Efi: you dont have to message me!

D.Va: okay so where are we going to be attacked?

Sombra: I would say near the museum

Hanzo Shimada: Aren't you not supposed to text and drive?

Sombra: I told you I have it built into my brain

Genji: As do I.

Genji: So does Zenyatta and Orisa and Bastion I assume.

Orisa: Yes!

Torbjorn: I have messaging built into my arm.

Soldier 76: In my visor.

D.Va: mech!

Lucio: visor thing

Sombra: Facinating

Sombra: t minus 15 minutes until they are here btw

Efi: lets go!!

Efi: Orisa you have your spear?

Orisa: Affirmative!

Lucio: Yeetage

Lucio: unfold your bike Hana lets go

D.Va: D.Va, suiting up!

Soldier 76: I'm ready.

Torbjorn: So am I.

Soldier 76: my enhanced eyes,,,

Genji: I don't see what's so bad.

Hanzo Shimada: You do not wear clothes.

Genji: >:l

Genji: I am right now.

Hanzo Shimada: But you do not normally.

Genji: Stop shaming me

Tracer: you brought this upon yourself Genji!

Genji: >:’(

Winston: Hey, is that?

**[Reinhardt is now online.]**

Reinhardt: Surprise!!

Orisa: !!!

Orisa: Reinhardt!!!!!!!!

Orisa: Can you help me with my shield?

Orisa: Do you have any new slogans I can use?

Orisa: Will you sign my shield dispenser

Orisa: Can you give me a hammer

Orisa: Is it possible for me to become any more like you

Torbjorn: Find an Egyptian to fall in love with.

Reinhardt: TORBJORN

Torbjorn: I’m only trying to help.

Reinhardt: I WILL TURN YOUR DAUGHTER AGAINST YOU I WONT HESITATE

Tracer: wow…

Lucio: Im seeing an all new side of Torb

Lucio: I dont know if I like it

Torbjorn: :)

Sombra: And you all say my smiles are sinister!!!

Torbjorn: I live only for drama.

Torbjorn: And my children.

Torbjorn: You all are the best source of entertainment one can have.

Tracer: D:

Sombra: So can we count you as a sort of ally

Torbjorn: No.

Reaper: Drats.

Lucio: did you really just say Drats

D.Va: he did.

Lucio: I cant believe this

Lucio: “feared terrorist wont curse, more at 11”

Reaper: Hey, you know that this chat still has that stupid swear censor on.

Reinhardt: We put it on for Fareeha!

Soldier 76: Did we really never bother to take it off

Tracer: I can check!!!!

Efi: i can reprogram it for you if you want!

Soldier 76: Actually lets keep it active.

Soldier 76: Sombra can you secure it?

Sombra: lol can I secure it

Sombra: Duh

D.Va: uh guys

D.Va: I see a big dropship by the museum

Orisa: I am ready!

Lucio: I am bready B)

Genji: Okay team sports equipment roll out!

Hanzo Shimada: sigh

Soldier 76: I hate all of you.

Reinhardt: >:D

Reinhardt: Come Efi!!

Reinhardt: I will teach you the ways of the warrior!

Efi: woo! :DDD

D.Va: Talon:0

Lucio: Y e e t

Lucio: feel these footballs

Lucio: in the face

D.Va: who knew running over bad guys was this much fun??

Winston: I'm setting one up for a spike.

Reinhardt: ooh! Ooh!!

Reinhardt: Pass it here!

Winston: Affirmative!

Soldier 76: Is this the power of a sniper?

Soldier 76: Putting people down with one well placed shot?

Soldier 76: Who knew beating people up with golf clubs was so therapeutic.

Hanzo Shimada: Do not transition into my role if you know what's good for you.

Orisa: Query: Where is Doomfist?

Reaper: Sombra make a memo to remind me to review the footage.

Sombra: Memo created.

Sombra: Hey stop using my programming for that >:(

Tracer: Sombra create a memo to kiss my girlfriend

Genji: Make a memo for fratricide.

Hanzo Shimada: Make a memo to actually make dinner and not preheat leftovers that have been sitting in the refrigerator for weeks.

D.Va: DO NOT CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS

Sombra: Lol no

Winston: Relay all created Memos.

Sombra: Ok

Sombra:

Reaper: Wow.

Reaper: I didn't know you had it in you Winston.

Winston: …

D.Va: uh

D.Va: what just happened?

Lucio: Hana focus

Lucio: you almost got shot in the back

D.Va: got it

Soldier 76: Where is Doomfist?

Soldier 76: The soldiers are not very good.

Reaper: They're good snacks.

Genji: :l

Reinhardt: Orisa!! I see your target!

Orisa: Doomfist.

Orisa: Engaging necessary protocols.

Efi: i believe in you!

Tracer: I found widow!!

Tracer: Winston, backup?

Winston: I am on my way.

Genji: Wow.

Genji: That was an impressive shot.

Soldier 76: Thank you.

Soldier 76: B^)

D.Va: LUCIO ARE YOU SEEING THIS

Lucio: I AM SEEING THIS

Torbjorn: :)

Soldier 76: oh god no

Lucio: LOOK AT IT

Lucio: AMAZING

Torbjorn: I was a water polo champion.

Torbjorn: Don't have to worry about touching the bottom if you can't reach there anyway.

D.Va: KILL THEM

D.Va: I AM COMING IN FOR SUPPORT

Lucio: SPEEEEEEEED BOOOST

Torbjorn: I am a killing machine.

Soldier 76: I really don't want to see this.

Tracer: Widowmaker is going to d i e

Genji: Where is the Doomman

Orisa: Being Occupied.

Reaper: Good job Torb.

Torbjorn: :)

Soldier 76: B^l

Genji: And y'all make fun of McCree for his smilies.

Hanzo Shimada: “Ya’ll?”

Genji: Slip of the tongue.

Reinhardt: Orisa, would you like help?

Orisa: Negative!

Orisa: I have stepped on his toes and stabbed him!

Efi: holy [redacted] Orisa what

Soldier 76: NO SWEARING

Sombra: JAJAJAJAJAJA

Reaper: Wow.

D.Va: holy shit Efi

Lucio: HANA BEHIND YOU AGAIN

D.Va: WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING

Orisa: Doomfist is in retreat.

Tracer: Widowmaker is getting away :(

Winston: We did give her some nasty bruises though.

Genji: We should probably get out of here before the UN comes.

Orisa: Goodbye!

Orisa: It was nice meeting you.

Reinhardt: Bye Orisa!

Orisa: Bye Reinhardt!!!

Lucio: Thanks for everything Efi

Efi: thank you for helping us protect our city!

Efi: i will make sure you all don't get arrested.

Efi: it is the least i can do!

Lucio: awww thank you

D.Va: thanks Efi!

Soldier 76: Alright team pack it up.

Soldier 76: Back on the train.

Torbjorn: Fine.

Soldier 76: Let’s just go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy again!  
> My usual end note Updates for now, summer is... surprisingly busy this year tbh  
> > God Bless OVW Team for giving us a hamster  
> > The new Sym changes are great! love it  
> > Incoming Sombra changes??? Yehaw  
> > I like the endorsement system tbh  
> And that's everything!! Let me know what you think or just opinions on the game in general, I love reading comments!!


	8. international bully genji day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Playing music, and telling terrible stories about Genji messing up.

**[D.Va changed chat name to bop bop bop, bop to the top]**

D.Va: hey

D.Va: I want to know what kind of music you scrubs listen to.

McCree: :) 

D.Va: I stg I will kill you 

McCree: =l:)

D.Va: P e r i s h 

McCree:  _ =l:) _

D.Va: ughhhh

Genji: Jesse, you don't even like country. 

McCree: Wow way to ruin the experience pumpkin 

D.Va: [redacted] you

McCree: No thanks 

D.Va: DAMN IT 

Genji: Do you want to do the playlist game? 

D.Va: yeaaaah

McCree: yeehaw 

McCree: Athena you ready

**Athena: Submit your additions into a DM with me. I will play them at random.**

Genji: @everyone who wants to play the playlist game 

Reinhardt: YES

Ana: im in 

Reaper: Count me in. 

Lucio: oh heck yeah!! 

Sombra: ;) 

Zenyatta: I think I will surprise you. 

Torbjorn: These games were always the worst. 

Torbjorn: Almost as bad as that shipping bot Gerard programed onto Athena. 

Tracer: I remember that!!

Tracer: >ship Lena Emily

**Athena: Lena <3 Emily = 95% **

Tracer: yessssss!!!!

Tracer: I'm also in for the game!!

Winston: Why not. 

Mercy: Oh I love this game! 

Soldier 76: Sigh

Soldier 76: I guess I will submit something. 

Orisa: I will guess! 

Efi: so will i!! 

Bastion: :D

Bastion: OvO 

Zenyatta: Bastion simply likes listening to the music. 

Hanzo Shimada: What are the rules of the game? 

Genji: Submit a song from your playlist and guess from who's playlist the song came from. 

Hanzo Shimada: Seems simple enough. 

Genji: Oh, and you have to guess wrong if it's your song. 

McCree: That way theres no cypherin it out 

McCree: cough cough Ana

Ana: not my fault you made it so easy

Mercy: Sigh….

Soldier 76: Start the music please. 

Reaper: And Sombra, no hacking into the DMs or playlists.

Reaper: Let them actually have a  _ game,  _ will you? 

Sombra: Ugh fine

**Athena: Now playing: “Dancing Queen” by ABBA.**

Ana: rein

Torbjorn: Reinhardt.

Soldier 76: Rein.

Reaper: ^^^

McCree: Rein

Lucio: Reinhardt

Hanzo Shimada: Reinhardt.

Reinhardt: :(

Mercy: Yes it's Rein.

Zenyatta: Are we sure? I know 76 also enjoys ABBA.

Ana: jacks not that cool 

Soldier 76: HEY.

Reaper: You right.

Soldier 76: I'm plenty cool. 

D.Va: …

Tracer: …

Winston: ...

Lucio: …

Sombra: No youre really not 

Sombra: And you work with McCree so that's really saying something

McCree: Okay hackerman, go off I guess 

Efi: oh my gosh

**Athena: You are all correct.**

Reinhardt: My love for the classics betraying me…

Torbjorn: Don't worry old man. 

Torbjorn: It's always been that way. 

Reinhardt: stop reminding me Torbjorn you're giving me flashbacks 

Ana: tfw your headphones disconnect during a mission and all you hear is ABBA 

Reinhardt: Stop!!

Reinhardt: Bringing it up!!

Reinhardt: It was  _ one  _ time!!

Tracer: Not as bad as Torb accidentally melting my shoes!!

Torbjorn: That wasn't an accident. 

**Athena: Now playing: “Good Riddance” by Green Day.**

Tracer:  **_what_ **

Torbjorn: You heard me. 

Tracer: 

Tracer: 

**[Tracer is now offline.]**

Soldier 76: Run. 

Reinhardt: Nice knowing you.

Genji: Good luck.

Genji: You'll need it. 

Torbjorn: She’ll never find me. 

Sombra: Reaper

Mercy: I'm not putting you back together if you die. 

Mercy: We all know how Tracer felt about those shoes.

Torbjorn: She got light up crocs. 

Torbjorn: I did it for the good of the universe. 

Efi: i want light up crocs!!

Orisa: Analyzing…

Orisa: Netative. 

Orisa: You will not. 

Efi: :(

Torbjorn: I hear her

Torbjorn: i have made a grave mistake 

Reinhardt: Rip in pieces

Ana: appropriate song gabe 

Lucio: lol gbye torb 

McCree: Get him Lena 

McCree: Hes ruined my boots too

Mercy: We need that engineer, don't hurt him too bad. 

Reinhardt: Ah, I'm sure we can put him back together again!

Reinhardt: Besides, he's already missing own arm what harm can another do?

Genji: Do you want a serious answer to that

McCree: One arm is hard enough partner

**[Tracer is now online!]**

Tracer: :) 

**Athena: No one voted for this one.**

Sombra: I did!!

Ana: i did

**Athena: I see.**

**Athena: In that case, you both are correct.**

Ana: ;) 

Reaper: :l

Tracer: I have gotten my revenge!!

Tracer: My shoes are avenged!!

Tracer: And because I'm an adult I can buy new ones!!!!

Torbjorn: ow

Mercy: sigh.

Mercy: Come in for some healing.

Genji: I see.

Genji: You'll give him healing but not me? 

Mercy: His injuries were not inflicted by sheer stupidity. 

Genji: ouch

D.Va: OUCH

D.Va: is it the same for all or use? 

Mercy: Yes.

Mercy: Stop being idiots.

Ana: ill heal idiots

Mercy: Don't encourage them.

Ana: ;)

Mercy: :/

Reaper: Okay ladies break it up.

Ana: (id win)

Reinhardt: (You would) 

**Athena: Now playing: “Interstellar” by Hans Zimmer.**

McCree: =l:0 

Genji: I remember this composer. 

Genji: His music is beautiful. 

Lucio: it really is… 

Lucio: I mean 

Lucio: the melodies 

Lucio: the feelings 

Lucio: it's beautiful 

D.Va: you are not crying are you?

Lucio: no

Ana: he is 

Soldier 76: Mercy 

D.Va: oh def Mercy. 

Orisa: Zenyatta. 

Efi: Zen! 

Bastion: ^

Reinhardt: This is Mercy’s!

Mercy: No, it's Zenyatta’s. 

Reaper: Hm. 

Reaper: Let's go with Tracer. 

Tracer: what??? 

Reaper: You're a pilot and Interstellar is about space. 

Tracer: fine!! 

Sombra: It makes sense

Sombra: But apparently I'm not allowed to play because Ill ‘cheat’

Soldier 76: In what universe would you not cheat. 

Sombra: In a universe where Ovw has good cyber security ;) 

Winston: Ouch. 

Winston: It’s Hanzo’s anyway. 

Tracer: you can still play!!

Tracer: just don't hack! 

Sombra: Where's the fun in that

Tracer: plenty of fun!! 

McCree: You think its Hanzos

McCree: I dont 

Tracer: I think it's Hanzo’s then!!

Hanzo Shimada: ?

Hanzo Shimada: Alright, I guess it is Zenyatta's. 

Zenyatta: I believe it is Genji. 

Genji: It's not but okay.

Tracer: aw man it's totally Genji 

McCree: It really aint but okay 

**Athena: End song.**

**Athena: Tallying votes…**

**Athena: Correct Answers: 1.**

Sombra: Oooh 

Reinhardt: Awww :((

McCree: it's either Zen or Reaps

Reaper: Don't call me that. 

Reaper: I'm not your friend. 

McCree: K Reaps 

D.Va: k Reaps. 

**Athena: Correct Answer: Tracer.**

Reaper: shruggie

Tracer: aww man how did you know 

Reaper: Know your enemy and all that. 

Sombra:  _ ;)  _

Genji: Sometimes I am able to forget you are Talon Agents and then you do something like that. 

Winston: Technically they shouldn't be allowed to play but..

Winston: We’ve kind of integrated them into the chat. 

McCree: Sides Soms got her own agenda 

Tracer: how do you know that?? 

McCree: I uh 

McCree: Met her in a bar before she joined the chat 

McCree: I am a right alcoholic aint I

Mercy: Yes.

Genji: Yep.

D.Va: uh huh.

Ana: yeah you really are

Sombra: You were so pathetic amigo

Sombra: Besides, you're no good dead <3

**Athena: Now Playing: “Cotton Eye Joe.”**

Tracer: McCree

Winston: McCree. 

Efi: mr. McCree!

Orisa: Jesse McCree. 

Soldier 76: McCree.

Reaper: McCree.

Hanzo Shimada: It is the cowboy. 

Bastion: ^^^^^

D.Va: def McCree 

McCree: Hey now

Ana: jesse i know its not you

Ana: youd never be so obvious 

Reaper: It could be a double cross. 

Ana: when have you ever seen jesse “i got fired from my cover job” mccree double cross

McCree: HEY

Torbjorn: It's Ana. 

Ana: now theres thinking outside the box

Reinhardt: It cannot be Ana.

Reinhardt: I believe it is Jack!

Reinhardt: He is a Western American too, yes?

Soldier 76: Don't call me that.

Soldier 76: But why me? McCree is a literal cowboy. 

McCree: You know who it is?

Tracer: you

Mercy: I will go with Jesse too. 

McCree: Look Here 

McCree: Fine you know what?

McCree: Its Genji

Genji: What gives you that idea? 

McCree: Do you remember the Charlotte Incident 

Genji: …

Genji: Certain parts more than others 

Tracer: ???

D.Va: oh good I am not the only one confused. 

Lucio: I'm interested 

Lucio: now tell us

Lucio: about the incident 

McCree: Cant

Genji: Can't. 

Reaper: They can't. 

Ana: thats classified

Reinhardt: Schade 

Soldier 76: Wait, Ana? 

Soldier 76: How do you know about it?

Ana: damn jack i didnt know your memory was that bad 

Ana: i was on it with them 

Genji: And it was an honor ma’am. 

Ana: thats right it was 

**Athena: End Song.**

**Athena: Tallying votes…**

Tracer: that was an easy win

McCree: For me. 

**Athena: Actually, Agent McCree is correct. It was Genji.**

Tracer: W HA  T

D.Va: Genji???? 

Ana: told you to think outside the box

Genji: :-) 

McCree: I TOLD YALL 

Sombra: Genji how much country do you have on your phone 

Sombra: This is ridiculous

Genji: hey 

McCree: I know why 

Genji: DONT YOU D A R E 

D.Va: TELL US 

Lucio: TELL US

Reaper: This is going to be hilarious. 

McCree: So this was back in Blackwatch yeah 

McCree: And Im sittin on the couch loungin around 

McCree: Im talkin to Gabe about music or somethin and I go (sarcastically) “yeah, Im a  _ big _ country fan” 

McCree: And Genji

McCree: You know what he says 

Genji: Jesse,,, please no,,,

McCree: He goes “China is very large” 

D.Va: ASLKDJF;ALKSDJF;ALKD

Lucio: HHHHHHH

Ana: pffffff

Reaper: Genji thats gay

Genji: SHUT 

D.Va: >:D 

Efi: OOOOH BOY

Efi: called. out. 

Genji: oh my god 

Genji: athena >kill me

**Athena: No.**

McCree: Poor Genji

Genji: Would you like me to tell them about the time you tried to be cool in Boulder 

McCree: ....

McCree: You wouldnt hurt me like that would you

D.Va: TELL US 

D.Va: IM GETTING SO MUCH DIRT 

Lucio: please dont stop

Ana: thanks for pausing athena

Ana: i have some stories of my own to tell 

McCree: Moooooom 

**[Pharah is now online!]**

Pharah: MOM 

Pharah: NO

**[Pharah is now offline.]**

Soldier 76: Did she…? 

Hanzo Shimada: It is the sibling sense. 

Hanzo Shimada: Or in this case the family sense. 

Hanzo Shimada: I always knew when Genji did something stupid. 

Genji: what is it bully genji day 

McCree: Maybe

Hanzo Shimada: Maybe. 

**[D.Va changed chat name to Bully Genji Day]**

Genji: FINE

Genji: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE

Genji: We are in Boulder Colorado for a mission, it’s me, Jesse, and Fio. 

McCree: please,,,

McCree: Im beggin darlin 

Genji: Then  _ beg _

Genji: Anyway

D.Va: F A T A L I T Y

Genji: Jesse’s doing his scouting thing and he goes: “hey pumpkin wanna see something cool” 

Genji: Of course I’m doing what we were supposed to be doing 

McCree: NO YOU WERENT

McCree: YOU WERE ON YOUR PHONE THE WHOLE TIME 

McCree: IM REPORTIN LOCATIONS AND YOURE JUST ON YOUR PHOEN 

Genji:  _ I’m doing what we were supposed to be doing  _

Soldier 76: Blackwatch was a mistake. 

Reaper: It’s a miracle we managed to get anything done with those idiots 

McCree: Hey I represent that 

Genji: Me too 

Genji: STOP DISTRACTING ME 

Genji: Jesse spins his gun and puts a bullet through the head of the target by complete accident 

Genji: He then panics, jumps off his look out spot, and breaks his arm

McCree: worth it 

Genji: You were screaming.

D.Va: out of fear? 

Genji: He is in enemy territory and his arm is broken and he’s panicking. 

Genji: So yes. 

McCree: You werent much better Genji

McCree: You tried to be all cool and jump down behind them and kill them all but you landed in a hornets nest 

Genji: Don’t remind me… 

Soldier 76:  _ Blackwatch was a mistake.  _

Ana: and yet they still managed to get more done than you lol 

Soldier 76: Ana you worked with us. 

Ana: i also worked with them

Ana: you boys remember Madrid

Genji: Ana  _ no _

Reaper:  _ don't  _

Efi: please! 

Tracer: do it!!!

Winston: Captain Amari coming in with the dirt.

Hanzo Shimada: Yes, keep giving me dirt on my brother. 

McCree: Im goin through the old chat and no I dont remember Madrid 

Ana: you werent there jesse 

McCree: Oh cool

McCree: Then tell us

Genji: Traitor. 

Genji: Traitors, all of you.

Lucio: bold of you to assume I was ever on your side 

D.Va: SAV AG E

Genji: :-(

Ana: ;)

Ana: ok im going to go Captain Amari Style for this story 

Ana: It's me, Reyes, Genji and a few others but those are the only important ones.

Ana: We're shutting down a weapons dealer yeah? 

D.Va: it is so weird to see Ana type like that

Lucio: yeah really

Lucio: I'm just so used to her no anything typing 

Soldier 76: I like this better. 

Ana: OP hasnt changed his typing style in like 30 years but go off i guess 

Ana: I'm in my nest and I'm watching for The Deal

Tracer: OHHHHHHHH

Reaper: Destroyed. 

Soldier 76: shut up 

Soldier 76: You're about to be exposed to the entire chat so

Ana: Genji is in the same restaurant as The Deal and he's in disguise waiting for the Commanders cue. Gabriel is chilling in the classic “I don't want to be spotted” outfit aka a baseball cap and sunglasses. 

Reinhardt: It's funny because it works! 

Reinhardt: But not for me :(

McCree: It works a surprising amount 

Sombra: It really does 

Sombra: Like, I can have my hair and my enhancements in broad daylight but be wearing a hat and sunglasses and no one will recognize me

Ana: Genji stands up without warning and starts walking towards the Dealers. 

Genji: in my defense

Ana: I was unsure what exactly happened but apparently he heard them say ‘Shimada’ and it triggered his bloodlust or something.

Hanzo Shimada: …

D.Va: damn Genji you lived like that? 

Ana: And Gabriel gets up to restrain the cyborg ninja but it all goes wrong at that moment 

Ana: The waiter shows up at the Dealer’s table just as Genji freaking  _ trips  _ with knife in hand and Gabriel tackles him right onto the table

Ana: I, a sniper away from the action, watch as this poor waiter has a panic attack as Gabriel loses his grip on Genji and Genji goes [redacted] ballistic, he's covered in food and sauce and there's a knife in someone's chest. 

Ana: Gabriel is covered in blood as Genji carves the guy we don't need alive like a Turkey and Gabriel is trying to calm this waiter down but like I said he's covered in blood so he's making it worse 

Ana: It's chaos as the rest of the restaurant reveals themselves as goons and Gabriel's trying to get the civilian out of there and the Boss of the goons is terrified and quite literally pissing his pants 

Ana: After all is said and done we interrogate the guy to shut down the deals better and Genji is just standing there with a blood splattered baseball hat and sunglasses on and the guy is practically throwing all his secrets at us. 

Ana: And as they're walking out I hear Gabriel start to ask Genji  _ why he made it so difficult  _ and you know what Genji says?

McCree: In my defense 

Reaper: In my defense...

Ana: “In my defense I tripped for the first stab”

Ana: “I had to go all the way after that”  

Ana: I couldn't stop laughing. This guy.  _ Tripped. _

Ana: trust me it was hilarious at the time 

McCree: Sounds like Genji yep

Genji: Why are you dragging me like this 

D.Va: sounds terrifying tbh

Ana: you asked 

D.Va: WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY NOT ABOUT GENJI MURDERING DUDES 

Genji: Their boss really was a weakling

Genji: Sees one guy get dismembered and tries to run for it :/

D.Va: I WOULD DO THE SAME GENJI

Lucio: big mood 

McCree: Cowards

Ana: cowards

Reaper: Cowards. 

Sombra: ^^^

D.Va: hey not all of us like watching people get killed!!

Soldier 76: Nobody does Hana. 

Soldier 76: That’s… Just how Genji was. 

Genji: you right 

Reinhardt: I found more dirt!! 

D.Va: does it involve murder?

Reinhardt: No :) 

Reinhardt: I have told you all when Ana got drunk at Oktoberfest for the like, fifth time yes? 

Genji: NO YOU HAVENT

McCree: =l:D 

Ana: rein please no

Reinhardt: :)

Ana:  _ no _

Reinhardt:  _ :D _

Ana: 

Reaper: You guys don’t want to hear about this. 

Soldier 76: I wish  _ I  _ could forget about those two idiots. 

Soldier 76: Driving them home after both of them getting smashed… 

Soldier 76: I never want to hear the pokemon theme song again. 

Reinhardt: ok nevermind 

D.Va: HEY YOU CANT DO THAT TO US

Tracer: yeah!!! 

Tracer: not cool!!! 

Efi: :( 

Mercy: Okay everyone. 

Mercy: Pack it up. 

D.Va: whaaaaaaat

Zenyatta: …

Mercy: You shouldn’t be picking on people like this. 

Mercy: Or at least, do it in person so that its not recorded forever. 

Mercy: I’m not telling you about the time Genji lost both his legs one night over chat. 

Soldier 76: Hey I don’t think I’ve heard that one. 

Zenyatta: I can tell more stories about Genji when he was with me. I am currently sharing tea with Angela. 

D.Va: OKAY IM OMW 

**[D.Va is now offline.]**

Sombra: Awww

McCree: I know you can hack into the cameras dont aww that 

Sombra: True 

Winston: Okay. 

Winston: I’m going to go get some tea. 

**[Winston is now offline.]**

Genji: ;;-;; 

Hanzo Shimada: Brother. 

Genji: Brother

Hanzo Shimada: …

Hanzo Shimada: I am sorry for what I did to you. 

Genji: I know. 

Genji: Tea?

McCree: Youve only told him like 9000 times 

Hanzo Shimada: ...yes.

Tracer: see ya guys!!!! 

Tracer: i want some tea!!!!!!

**[Tracer is now offline.]**

**[Hanzo Shimada is now offline.]**

McCree: Well guess everyones leavin 

Efi: guess so!!! 

Lucio: Gonna mix some music 

Lucio: bbl 

McCree: Alrighty then

McCree: Later everyone =l:) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do I end these things :l   
> Heyyyyy its the summer games again boys  
> Love my mom Ana and support her in her beach vacation   
> hamster is. ok, brought some well needed levity into the game


End file.
